I don’t know if you’ve been following the actual news recently or just the stuff we post on Sick Chirpse, but if you’ve been following either than you probably have some idea that there’s a load of beef going down between North Korea and the United States and if things don’t go according to plan than it could all end in a nuclear holocaust that will probably mean the death of everyone on the entire world, and probably the entire world itself. If you’ve missed any of that and are slightly worried by that statement, then maybe check out this story below for the full scoop on it.
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Of course, even if you don’t know anything about the history of international conflict you probably know that the threat of nuclear war has been hanging over the entire world since the culmination of World War 2 and that there have been a couple of instances where countries like Israel and Russia have almost, almost fired that one nuke that would lead to retaliation from someone else which would lead to nuclear war and probably the end of the world.
Of course, whoever threatened to fire the nuke always backed down because THE WHOLE POINT of nuclear weapons is Mutually Assured Destruction (MAD) theory i.e. that if someone else that you’re beefing with has a nuclear weapon, then you need to develop a nuclear weapon yourself so that they won’t fire it at you because they know if they fire it at you then you’ll just fire one back at them and everyone will be dead. MAD, gotta love that shit.
So we don’t really have anything to worry about with the fact that North Korea has decided to start its own nuclear weapons program and are seeing how far they can fire their nuclear weapons and are moving their missiles closer to the coast so they can get more range on them huh, because we’ve seen it all before? Well, normally I would agree with you because most of this stuff is usually just one country trying to prove to everyone else in the world that they collectively have a way bigger dick than the other one, but something is slightly different this time.
Yes, the creator of The Doomsday Clock has died.
â˜› If You Don’t Know What The Doomsday Clock Is Click Here: The Doomsday Clock Moved And We’re All Going To Die
In case you didn’t click on the link above and don’t know what The Doomsday Clock is, I’m not going to explain what it is so it’s your fault for thinking I was gonna do that anyway. Maybe go click on it. It also explains why it’s kind of a stupid concept but for the purpose of this article the symbolism behind it and its creators death is a lot more pertinent in the real world (if you’re a retard) then some asshole scientists moving the hands on a clock face with no real bearing on real life events as we head to an imagined nuclear apocalypse. You should probably just click the link.
In any case, the woman who created it way back in 1947 – Martyl Langsdorf, a successful artist in her own right aside from The Doomsday Clock – kicked the bucket a couple of days ago at the age of 96. She had a good innings and died of complications arising from a lung infection. Her husband Alexander Langsdorf actually worked on the Manhattan project during World War II, which led to the Hiroshima bombing at its climax that effectively started the nuclear age.
His wife designed The Doomsday Clock as a warning of the coming arms race (it hadn’t actually started in 1947) that would only end when the clock hit midnight AKA the start of a nuclear war. There aren’t any pictures of Martyl Langsdorf with The Doomsday Clock (which seems pretty strange, maybe it’s some kind of prophecy?!) itself so here’s one of her just chilling in her old age.
The foreshadowing was accurate as two years later the Russians tested their first nuclear weapon which led to four decades of the Cold War between the United States and Russia and a bunch of good movies and TV shows where the Russians were the bad guys. You know, like The Man From U.N.C.L.E. I miss those days, I just feel that when Arabs and the Chinese/Koreans are the enemy that it’s just so much more racist. Or maybe that comment is much more racist, I expect someone will take it the wrong way in any case.
Anyway, the fact that Martyl Langsdorf has died has surely got to mean something in the context of the uncertainty regarding North Korea’s nuclear program and intentions, right? Well, if you would believe a bunch of idiots who probably thought the world was going to end on December 21st 2012 then yeah, you might as well sell all your belongings and head over to the Bahamas with a bunch of cigars to enjoy all the fireworks.
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Basically people think that because Martyl Langsdorf invented The Doomsday Clock – which pretty much accurately predicted the start of the Cold War (kinda, I mean it was only off by two years) – that her death must symbolise the end of the world or the start of the nuclear age. Or at least something right? Some people are linking it to the fact that it’s the anniversary of Kim Jong-un coming into the power in a few days and so that obviously means that he’ll decide to push the button and fire nukes at the USA or South Korea around then.
I mean it would just make SO MUCH SENSE for a guy like Kim Jong-un – who clearly wants to be world famous and remembered for his reign throughout all of history – to do something which would pretty much lead to the end of the world so that nobody would remember him at all. Because you know, nobody would exist. And yeah, what better time to do it than on the anniversary of his rise to power? Perfect, especially because Martyl Langsdorf just died too. Makes a lot of sense, totally.
The truth is though that dates don’t really ever mean anything, at least anniversaries or anything. I mean why the hell did 9/11 happen on 9/11? That didn’t have any significance at the time. If you’re gonna do something big like end the world you might as well end it on a date that doesn’t have any significance so that there’s no danger of anyone getting anything else confused with that date ever. With all this crap about the anniversary of his inauguration – remember, that’s gonna be celebrated every year – people might forget about the day he released the nuclear weapons, right? Probably not because everyone will be dead sure, but I’m trying to make a point about the lack of significance of dates in the end of the world scenario.
Even when dates are predicted they always disappoint – I mean look at that Millennium Bug bullshit or the Mayan shit from last year. If nuclear war does happen, some idiots with a clock aren’t gonna be able to predict it and it isn’t going to happen because of some anniversary or because some woman who created something stupid died, it’s going to happen out of the blue and you’re not gonna know about it and then bang, it’s the end of the world, see you later. Just forget about it and have a good time. Anniversaries and predictions and all that crap can go fuck itself, they haven’t been right yet and I doubt they ever will be.
In fact I just thought of one time when there was a kind of anniversary that actually led to something. On Middlesborough’s UEFA Cup run in 2005/2006 they were twice losing and needed 4 goals to win in both the quarter final and the semi final. Miraculously they managed to crawl back the deficits and in both games Massimo Maccarone scored in the last minute to send them through, so the second time was kind of like an anniversary of the first. Except it was like three weeks after it or something. Still I bet some nerd managed to tie it in as an anniversary of something, that’s just the way people seem to do these things.
Here are the highlights of those games if you missed them all those years ago. Just enjoy these and stop thinking about the end of the world because when it does happen I’m pretty sure it’s not going to be widely publicised or predicted.