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Comedian Sean Patton Was Paid $500 To Never Tell This Story

Sean Patton

‘The Roman Candle was in her vagina.’

I’ve been involved in some crazy stories in my time, but nobody has ever paid me to not mention them again.

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The reason is probably because I’ve never been involved in anything as crazy as this story recounted by comedian Sean Patton. He was playing a comedy club in Baton Rouge, Louisiana where he completely and utterly flopped, although things started to look up when a forty something woman approached him at the bar and asked him to come back to her house with her.

What happened then got pretty fucking crazy: 

Yeah I mean, there’s just so much about that story that doesn’t make any sense. Why was the house completely and utterly trashed if the husband was living there as well? Why did the woman want to show him that video if she knew what was on it? And who the hell were all those guys dressed up as Casper?

Clearly she’s got a few issues there. Just hope that dude doesn’t show up looking for Sean now that he’s told the story to the entire internet. He might not have thought that one through there.

For more of the same, check out this story about Dennis Rodman breaking his dick three times.


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