Ever wondered what’s tangled up inside your gut’s pipes? Ever wanted to pump water up there, flush it out and have a look? No, nor me, until I saw the following pictures. Now I am desperate to see what I’m storing in my food tubes.
My lady friend texted me today simply saying “Google ‘colon cleanse’ images”. I was confused and wondered what she was planning. I was right to be frightened, the pictures are horrific. It turns out she wasn’t planning our weekend though, thankfully she just thought I should write about it so that everyone in Sick Chirpse land could have a good old wretch too. So I am.
After seeing the pictures I wondered if I should have a go myself, I mean the amount of donner meat and burgers I’ve consumed over the years must have taken their toll. So I had a quick look to see whether there really are any health benefits. The jury is split down the middle. Funnily enough, places that offer or promote colonic cleansing report plentiful benefits. Spas claim benefits such as improving your energy levels, making your intestines more “effective”, increasing absorption of vitamins, helping weight loss and a whole host of other miracles that you can’t easily measure.
If you wander over to the medical and sciencey side of the debate their responses are a little more solemn. Things like this: Dr. Ranit Mishori and her team at Georgetown University School of Medicine and Providence Hospital report in the Journal of Family Practice that colonic cleanses – whether with water or via supplements or herbal remedies, don’t actually do much – other than potentially cause some uncomfortable, and in some cases dangerous side effects.
As much as I love new wave medicine, hippies, chakras and herbs I know where I put my trust: actual science. Now, I know science hasn’t got all of the answers, scientists are well aware of the gaps in their knowledge, that’s the point. But if someone who has conducted a thorough two-year research project on colonic irrigation says it’s a little bit dangerous and doesn’t actually do much, I’ll probably take their word for it. Especially when the opposition is some guy with patchouli oil on his nipples waving a tie-dyed flag with “brilliant bowels” written on it.
I know not all colonic pedlars are hippies, nowadays it’s mostly done in spangly spas with manicured ladies handing you hot towels. It’s big business making big bucks for big companies and that certainly doesn’t make me trust it any more. In a way I’d rather get one off a hippy for a laugh than helping to fill Duncan Bannatyne’s ample back pockets with more cash.
I’m not poo-pooing the procedure out of hand (LOL) but I am dubious and not particularly keen on the idea of a tube being popped up my back passage for no discernible reason.. Having said that I have to admit the pictures on the next page made me pretty intrigued and mighty queasy…
☛ Next: Why I Hate Hippies
