Here’s What You Can Buy In Wetherspoons On A Diet And A Budget


For the health conscious skinflint.

Only kidding. These dishes are what our favourite pub chain Wetherspoons are portraying as ‘healthy’, when in actual fact you might as well be eating a sugar-coated stick of butter.

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Yes, they might be easy on the pocket, but in no way are they the plate of superfood goodness that cheeky Spoons is telling us they are. If you’ve been eating any of these dishes thinking you’re doing your body a favour then you’ve been mugged off.

1) Porridge with banana and honey


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Think you’re doing yourself a solid by swerving the greasy fry-up in place for a nice and wholesome porridge with fruit and nature’s nectar? Think again buddy. A recent health organisation survey found that this plate of sweetness contains 64.3g of sugar. Yes, you read that right. Bear in mind you’re only meant to have around 25g at most, that’s a pretty hefty intake for one sitting. Hello fillings.

2) Superfood pasta with Grilled Halloumi


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You just assume that anything with superfood in the title is going to be good for you, but this cheeky dish is telling you a lie. Not only does it contain 902 calories (nearly half your daily intake), but it contains 107% of your daily saturated fat. So basically you can eat this, but only if you eat -7% saturated fat for the rest of the day. Is a superfood pasta really worth it? 

3) Broccoli and cheese soup


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Soup’s got to be healthy right? I mean, yeah it’s got a bit of cheese in it. But it’s mostly just vegetables and broth – how the hell can they make that unhealthy? By loading the fucker with salt, that’s how. This average lunch choice contains 4.3g of salt, which is 72% of your daily intake. And like the superfood pasta, there’s more than 108% of your allowance of saturated fat in this soup. What the actual fuck?

4) Chicken Caesar Salad


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Salad. Thank god. There’s no way lettuce and shitty, lean meat can be bad for you. That’s what the doctors tell you to eat. Well, not in Wetherspoons. Some bent chef around the back must be loading this plate with liquefied duck fat or something, because a Chicken Caesar Salad at Wetherspoons will take up 92% of your daily saturated fat allowance and 69% of your salt intake. So after that satisfying dish, you’d better eat sparsely for the rest of the week. 

5) Chicken and avocado wrap 


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The final offender is an incredibly boring mix of white meat and avocado. Are you ready for this? Here goes – the Chicken and Avocado Wrap at Wetherspoons contains 1,265 calories – more than 63% of your daily intake. Not to mention 80% of your fat allowance and 61% of your salt.

Shocker right? So what have we learnt here? Basically, if you want to eat healthily and don’t want to be a fat cunt, don’t eat in Wetherspoons. But as if any of us go there in search of a balanced meal anyway.

Don’t worry Wetherspoons – your drink deals are so good that we could never stay mad at you.


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