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BRAP OR CRAP: HOOTERS

Brap or Crap continues its international tour with a trip to an American Institution: Hooters.

I have never been to Hooters – even though I lived in Nottingham for three years which is where the only Hooters in the UK is for some reason – and I had no plans to visit one when I was over in the States but SarahSaysWhat really had to piss and the closet place we could go was a Hooters so we figured we might as well check it out as it probably wasn’t going to be something any one of us ever wanted to do again in the future.

The first thing that hit me was just how big the breasts of our waitress were. Like, I’m a guy sure but I’m by no means one of those guys that goes around talking about how big girl’s tits are and gawking at them all day but I really had no idea where to look when she was taking our order and talking to us because they were just so huge. Like maybe the biggest I had ever seen. Believe everything that you have ever heard about Hooters.

Anyway, after me and TinosComeback had managed to stop staring at her breasts we decided to just go all out and get the wings. I mean that’s what Hooters is famous for right (aside from the obvious)? At Hooters you can get regular chicken wings and then some wings with like some kind of crunchy batter on them. We got 10 of each in hot sauce, some blue cheese and celery sticks to help us cool down and some loaded tater tots. Tots are like little potato things and if they’re loaded they come with cheese and bacon and sour cream and chives on them. Only in America right?

Anyway the food turned up and it was pretty rad. Hooters special wings with the crunchy batter on them were way better than the regular wings – they were still really nice though. The hot sauce was great. It was hot sure, but not hot enough that I was going to struggle to eat it all, not like Man Vs Food or anything. It WAS a challenge though because they were so hot. I was sweating a lot and had to wipe them down sometimes because the wings were just COVERED in chunky hot sauce that you could kind of scrape off if you were having trouble. The celery sticks and blue cheese dressing really helped us cool down as well, as did the tater tots. The tater tots were great but got a little gross towards the end because they were just so stodgy with all that extra crap on them. Here’s a picture of me and TinosComeback eating wings at Hooters:

I really enjoyed eating at Hooters whilst I was actually eating there but immediately afterwards I felt fvcking terrible, like I had run a marathon in addition to having really bad stomach cramps and farting loads. It was horrible. I had to take a really awful shit a couple of hours later too. So yeah, because of that I’m probably not gonna eat there very many more times in my life and it only gets an average rating. It was still a good time, but it was just the after effects I couldn’t deal with, which seems to be a common theme when dining in America.

RATING:     STANDARD

RATING KEY:
IN THE GUTTER CRAP STANDARD  BRAP  NEXT LEVEL 

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