Axl Rose Should Really Give Up And Die

Axl Rose Bridge School

Axl Rose used to be a stone cold killer when it came to playing live. Now he’s a pathetic fat old man who looks like he’s gonna have a heart attack about 20 times per song and can’t sing for shit.

Axl Rose Bridge School

If you know anything about metal – or even popular music – then you probably know who Guns N Roses are and you probably know who Axl Rose is and you probably know all the hits like Sweet Child O’Mine and Paradise City and Welcome To The Jungle and you might even own a copy of Appetite For Destruction. You probably know something about how Axl and Slash fell out too and the rest of the band quit and how Axl is just a massive fat tool these days who – when he isn’t cancelling shows and tours at the last minute for seemingly no reason – is prancing around with a bunch of hired guns who perform under the Guns N Roses name who are generally terrible, mainly due to Axl Rose’s supremely lacklustre vocal performance.

In fairness to the guy, I managed to catch Guns N Roses in 2002 at the O2 Arena in London and it was pretty sick. I’m not even sure why I wanted to go so much because it was real expensive and a bit of a mission but it was actually surprisingly good except that Axl kept running into this weird tent at the back of the stage for a couple of minutes at a time during the show. I thought it was probably because he was doing coke or something but everyone said he was clean at the time so I don’t know.

Anyway, that was 2002 and this is 2012 and it seems that a lot has happened to Axl Rose and his voice since then. He’s still a massive twat – obviously – but it seems like his voice has gone completely down the pan if this latest clip is anything to go by. Apparently this incarnation of Guns N Roses played some kind of weird acoustic set – I say it was weird because they were all standing up and there were a bunch of instruments and some percussionists – at some place called Bridge School (this school is the benefactor of Neil Young’s annual concerts and helps physically challenged children overcome their impairments via the use of technology) a couple of days ago and wow, is it bad if this clip is anything to go by.

Not only do the band themselves sound really terrible (admittedly this could be because Guns N Roses songs are obviously NEVER EVER EVER meant to be played acoustically, except stuff like Patience obv) but wow Axl is just completely off it. He looks like he’s going to have a heart attack about 20 times during the video and there are some points where I’m not even sure if he’s actually singing live or miming because he holds the mic so far away from his mouth. But then I think that he absolutely has to be singing live because there’s no way anyone would make a backing track that sounds so terrible. It’s almost like one of those parody videos that people make where they overdub really out of tune/bad versions of songs to really massive bands playing stadiums/arenas, it really is that terrible.

Check out their ‘performance’ of Welcome To The Jungle below and pray to god that Axl Rose gives up soon and that a real Guns N Roses reunion never happens either because that would be even worse:

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