Argentina’s New President Is A Chainsaw-Wielding Tantric Sex Coach Who Calls Himself ‘The Madman’

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We don’t really talk Argentinian politics on Sick Chirpse (aside from the video of that congressman who was caught sucking a woman’s t1t during an important government meeting on Zoom), but this latest development is simply too wacky to not blog about.

The Argentinian people have elected a new President: a tantric sex coach who hates the ‘woke left’ and talks to the ghost of his dead dog when he needs political advice. Meet Argentina’s new President Javier Milei:

Here he is revving a chainsaw like Terry Funk in the middle of a crowd of his adoring supporters. You know, casual President things:

Milei – who is also a prominent economist and radio chat-show host – has also spoken about his penchant for threesomes and why he believes poor people should be free to sell their body parts. My body, my choice? Indeed!

So how does a guy like Milei come to power in the first place? Well, the country’s young people are so disenchanted by ‘conventional’ politicians who have left Argentina with an annual inflation rate of over 115% (!), that they decided it was time for a big change. That change: El Loco AKA The Madman.

Milei once said: ‘If I had to choose between the state and the mafia, I would choose the mafia. Because the mafia has codes, the mafia adapts, the mafia doesn’t lie. And above all, the mafia competes.’

Milei also hates wokeness so much that he regularly disses Pope Francis, his compatriot, in interviews; calling him a ‘f***ing communist’, ‘communist turd’ and the ‘representative of the evil one on Earth’. Which I guess is what he gets for trying to feed the poor.

Milei also once Tweeted: ‘Jesus didn’t pay taxes.’ No wonder everyone’s voting for him!

A recent biography by journalist Juan Luis González revealed Milei studies telepathy in his spare time and has a medium to ‘communicate’ with his English Mastiff named Conan, who died in 2017, asking him for advice on political matters. When asked about this in interviews, Milei didn’t deny it, instead saying: ‘What I do in my house is my business.’ Fair enough really.

Milei, who is single and has never married, used to be an instructor of tantric sex and says he can go three months without ejaculating, despite regularly enjoying threesomes.

At the end of the day, it makes a lot of sense. Times are hard in Argentina. The economy is a mess and the people have chosen to elect a candidate who they believe reflects their anger and frustration (hence the aforementioned chainsaw). The way they see it, if a man can go three months without j1zzing and knows how to communicate with dead dogs, then he’s probably capable of anything, including fixing Argentina’s problems.

Let’s hope they’re right. Either way, I’ve got a feeling we’ll be blogging a lot more about Javier Milei in the coming years.

For hilarious AI images of Donald Trump being arrested, click HERE.

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