Those annoying Europop merchants who we have to blame for Barbie Girl and Dr Jones are back after a ten year hiatus with a song about having $ex with a robot.

Everybody remembers Aqua right? Mainly for the song Barbie Girl which populated those stupid school discos that didn’t really involve any dancing during your pre teen years. It’s probably still included on the playlist of those dumb discos now to be honest, it was just such a hit. Aqua also came up with the criminally underrated and often forgotten Dr Jones, as well as somehow landing a gig with a song for the Sliding Doors soundtrack called Turn Back Time, which displayed their ‘mature’ side.

Unbelievably, Aqua are Denmark’s most successful act ever, having sold over 33 million records worldwide in the late 90’s and early 2000’s. Fortunately for most people, they split up in 2001. Unfortunately, they got back together in 2007 and after four years of working on music their comeback album Megalomania was released this week. The leading single is called Like a Robot, but it should really be called Fvck Like a Robot because that’s the decisive lyric in the song, which is about how the woman’s boyfriend can only fvck her like a robot these days, even after a bunch of tequila shots. Sad.

I guess if you’re into Aqua the song is kind of cool. It’s just the typical Aqua Europop sound with the girl and the dude trading off with one another. Except in the old songs all the sexual stuff was firmly tongue in cheek, this time it’s firmly in your face (kinda like Joey Barton eh Philippe Senderos?) with several vulgar statements throughout the course of the song.

Not that I haven’t got a mouth on me sure, but I mean it’s Aqua! They were so cute and loveable and now they’re all grown up and the dude fucks the girl like a robot and it’s not like they’re Barbie and Ken anymore. Even after a bunch of tequila shots he can’t fvck her properly. I know everyone grows up but I didn’t think Aqua were going to! I mean look at their promo shots now – the girl used to be so cute and innocent, now she looks like dominatrix! Jesus!

Anyway, even though the release seems to have slipped under the radar I’m pretty sure this is going to be massive for a couple of reasons. Firstly, it’s really stupid and really catchy which is pretty much the perfect combination for these dumb Europop tracks to get massive (Remember Bloodhound Gang? Eiffel 65? Aqua??) and also Aqua was so fvcking huge back in the late 90’s that everyone who listened to them is bound to check this out now because it’s such a novelty. And loads of guys are going to be into the fact that she dresses like a dominatrix now and sings about fvcking. Finally, it’s a lot better than the competition i.e. I Don’t Want To Be A Crappy Housewife and Ride My Pony.  Check out the song below, we can only hope that an official music video shows up soon. Thanks to J Ward for the tip.

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