The much hyped fall from grace of football’s most boring bastards

DISCLAIMER: these are the personal views of SANDS!

So that miserable pair of bastards that everyone hates have been killed off by the screen writers for $ky $ports. Fvcking shit yeah. Andy Gray. Richard Keys. Everyone I’ve ever heard of is smarter than this pair of shit-faced mugs put together. Yet they both drew a seven figure salary from Sky Sports. From the subscribers pockets. Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated? Feels like a tax swindle doesn’t it?

I don’t know exactly what he said but I don’t think I’ve ever cared less about anything. The point is I don’t have to listen to Andy Gray anymore. Hurrah for sexism. Thank our Lord in Heaven, sweet little baby Jeses for our over-cautious hyper-sensitive social climate that suffocates the contemporary British media.

The irony of the incident is fvcking superb. Andy Gray is famous for not knowing anything about football, like really really famous, for being staggeringly incorrect with every single one of his insights into any particular footballing situation. He is a fat little prick. This guy, this fvcking guy, has the grace and dignity to suggest that because this person is not a man, she knows nothing about the offside rule and that he should go down there and explain it to her. Unbelieveable behaviour.  She’s a professional sports umpire. Andy Gray is an A-Grade, top of the class, major league, fuckwit. The farce is compounded by the fact that the lass made a fuckin crackin call. And then he gets fired. Hahahaha(ad infinitum). Keys may have been guilty by association here but maybe you should choose your associates more wisely dickhead.  I love that he took on the role of the unwitting sidekick here. Like Bill Sykes’ dog or something.  Brilliant.

So… In a new spin-off series this pair of fuckers have been offered jobs in Qatar. To ruin football coverage for the Al-Jazeera network. I’m sure the slapstick duo’s Jim-Davidson-style gags will go down like hot shit in their new desert prison. They’ll fit in perfectly. Where sexism is enforced and no-one really knows or cares anything about football. Maybe they should enroll in a patriarchal and anachronistic religious system while they’re there. Might help them get into character for their new roles. Almost all the best actors method act. I bet De Niro would.

Anyway. Looks like these two twats have been consigned to punditry’s Room 101 so let’s wish them all the best.

Maybe Ron Atkinson will show them round when they get there.


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