If you’re of a certain age (decrepit? Moi?), you will have played with Lego as a young ‘un, unless you’re one of those feral children Channel 4 loves making documentaries about. By “played”, I really mean “mercilessly bent it to your architectural whims whilst somehow losing all the key pieces”. The thing about these little joyful blocks is that you can go back to it as a developmentally arrested 20-something and it’s still as enjoyable as ever, save for the pivotal chunks that flee the instant they hear you coming. We’re getting on a bit to just be pressing plastic blobs into holes with no vision, so here are five fantastic things the internet (haven as it is for the most thoroughbred of weirdos and unemployed) shows us that we can create with a cheap(ish) bag of bricks and some time.
1). Stephen Hawking
First up we have this immediately recognisable sculpture of a modern icon, Stephen Hawking. It’s the bottom-of-wine-goblet eyes that get me every time. That and his “yeah, and what?” pose here seems to add a touch of cheeky whimsy.
2). Electric Guitar
This fully functioning electric guitar mixes geek with rock in a way befitting of the (post-)post-modern situation we inexorably find ourselves in, or something. For all the effort, the strings apparently come loose too often for it to function properly. Given that, building one seems like a perfectly valid way to spend your time, then, only if you have plenty of it to spare.
3). Lego Mario (lead image)
Harking back to the flimsy pretext of this article (it was just to show you these neat little Lego thingies if I’m honest), this ought to remind you of your childhood. Do you remember all those summer nights you spent outside in the haze, twirling and whooping and boyishly breaking windows with all your friends? No, because like any good child you were scrunched up on an inflatable sofa, rightfully glued to your Gameboy/SNES/N64. Those ghosts in Wario’s Castle still give me nightmares.
4). Deer’s head
For fans of infinitesimal shabby chic (henceforth referred to as ISC), I present you with this little deer’s head. Limply hang it beside your other re-fashioned and re-loved curios. Now, wait and eavesdrop on guests to start conversations on how pathetic it is that you’re fashioning a sense of identity from objects and cry into your ever-stained pre-war handkerchief.
5). Rembrandt’s The Anatomy Lesson of Dr. Nicolaes Tulp