CHIRPSES

5 Of This Shittest Items You Can Find In Every Charity Shop Across The UK

One man’s junk isn’t always another man’s treasure.

If you’ve never set foot in your local Cancer Research or British Heart Foundation, then you’re totally missing out. The thrill of rummaging through other people’s stuff, combined with the knowledge that you could actually buy some of this junk for mere pennies is enough to get you coming back as a regular customer.

Sure you’d have to rummage through the dead old person’s porcelain dog collection and a thousand chewed kids’ books but eventually you’ll stumble across a rare hidden gem like a still wearable pair of designer kicks for a fiver or some perfectly fitted Levi’s.

However there are certain items that crop up in pretty much every charity shop across the land that need to be found a new home somewhere or immediately set on fire. If you’re a thrifty shopper then you’ll probably recognise these wastes of resources but if not, do watch out for these bad boys.

A T-Shirt Made For A Specific Event From Years Ago

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‘Sheffield College Rugby Tour 2010’, ‘Sun’s Out Guns Out Malia 2012’, ‘Sue’s Hen Do 1999’; all these previously loved t-shirts that once commended a specific time or experience are being left to rot in charity shops everywhere. Aside from the odd tour shirt from famous bands, anyone who wasn’t at Stanley’s BBQ 2007 has absolutely no need for the textile reminder, so instead they lie limply on their hangers in Oxfam’s all over the nation. Sometimes you’ll also see one of their distant relatives, the no longer in season work uniform top from a generic high street brand.

You’re better off donating these bothersome garments to those who truly need it than to a store that’ll never shift it.

Bad Playstation Games

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Right above the old box of records that are so ancient that not even your Granddad has heard of the artists, there’s usually a couple of shelves containing a wide array of used and abandoned video games. If your’e lucky then you’ll come across a copy of Crash Team Racing or an unscathed Fifa 15. The majority of the travesties you’ll find will mostly consist of bargain bin PS1 games once bought from Costco by a parent presuming they were legitimately Disney or crappy expansion packs for old PC games that won’t work with our newfangled software.

Opting for a board game is risky too, you’d be gutted to return home to find that your jigsaw is missing the last three pieces.

Primark Clothing That Nobody Wanted In The First Place

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The problem with current fashion is that trends come and go so quickly that brands feel like they have to constantly compete. This is why high street supergiants such as Primark and Topman are constantly churning cheap and cheerful clothing to fit in with the current style. Unfortunately this means that if the sweatshop made trousers – or whatever you’ve chosen to spend your pocket money on – haven’t broken, after a few months or years you’re likely to throw away. Remember your chinos? Remember your dip dyed tops? Where are they now?

Probably clogging up the rails of your local charity shop, that’s where. At least you haven’t chucked them in the bin though because £100 million pounds worth of used clothing are poured into landfills ever year in the UK. It would be wiser to invest in a wardrobe full of timeless classics than to be a planet ruining fashion victim, but that’s just what we think.

50 Shades Of Grey

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What the fuck is that?

If you’re thinking “that’s a den made out of loads of copies of Fifty Shades Of Grey, duh” then yeah, you’re exactly right. An online charity bookstore in Wales received over twenty copies of the book per day since the travesty first hit the shelves and obviously didn’t know what to do with them all. Whilst stockpiling the erotic novels in, they ended up building a huge fort around the desk of an employee who was away on holiday.

Charity shops are literally begging people to stop donating this trash as they’re having to send many copies off to be turned into pulp.

If you’re after an inappropriate present for your mother or other middle aged female relative, then you can probably pick up the entire trilogy from any charity shop for a couple of quid. Related items on the bookshelves of your favourite charity shops include Twilight, vegetarian cooking books from the 70s and various forgotten celebrities’ biographies.

Sports Direct Mug

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Amongst the mugs you get free with your Easter eggs and the Tetley tea figurines, you’ll be able to locate an iconic hot beverage wielding tankard of sports purchases past with ease. Honestly, I don’t think there’s ever been a charity shop in the whole of Britain to never have one in stock. To be honest though you could probably find at least two of these in most kitchens and offices in the UK so it’s not exactly a challenge.

Apparently drinking two cups of coffee a day can help stop alcohol from destroying your liver so at least there’s a use for the sheer amount of volume that these beasts can hold. Have a single Sports Direct mug full of joe every morning and you’ll be well on your way to recovering from the messy weekend.


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