Despite writing off pretty much every Sunday as a wasted day to nurse a cursÃ©d hangover and barely knowing anything about sport, if I was to abandon Sick Chirpse to write for any other publication it would be definitely the Sunday Sport because their stories are so insanely bizarre. The paper’s headlines read exactly like the most clickbait titles that you see on your Facebook paged mixed with all the joke articles from The Onion, except we’re assuming that whoever is still buying the physical copies of this “publication” aren’t the sort of people who wouldn’t actively read satire in their spare time.
The shit they come up with makes about as much sense as that weird dream you had when you last fell asleep watching Netflix; you know the weird one where you’re being chased by a herd of velociraptors through Poundstretcher or that overly vivid sex dream you had about Slenderman. Surely barely any of these stories have any truth behind them, most of the articles read exactly like what we imagine the whacked out innards of our uncle’s blokey brain looks like as he plays darts with his mates down the local after accidentally sipping on a spiked pint.
If their farfetched content isn’t enough to grab your attention, their creative use of Photoshop to illustrate their ridiculous stories is repulsively brilliant; especially the one where they obviously cut and pasted Ed Miliband’s actual face onto a bouncer for their gripping piece on Britain’s hardest bouncer who apparently looks like a beefy double of the Labour party leader.
For your viewing pleasure we’ve rounded up our absolute favourite Sunday Sport pages for us all to have a laugh at. Navigate the slider for a look through the rest of the absurd collection…
Here it is, the masterpiece we mentioned earlier. Witness the pro Photoshop skills on the bouncer’s face that totally hasn’t been haphazardly cut from a Google image of Mr. Miliband’s very own visage.