End of year lists are normally a dull affair, with most so called ‘experts’ picking exactly the same things as everyone else, but there is one that never ceases to amaze me year after year and that is, of course, the list of all the weird things that people got stuck up their genitals.

Featured Image VIA

This year is no different, with some truly inspired contributions from everyday household items such as paperclips and headphones that I would never, ever think to put up there. I mean sure a candlestick or a toy wand are kind of obvious, but what good would headphones do up your vagina? Maybe I’m being naive….

Anyway, here are the lists for you to peruse at your pleasure:

VAGINA

Scented soap

Deodorant cap

Bottle cap

Penis ring with spikes on

Silicon balls

A ball

Bike reflector

A sponge (the patient said she was on her period and inserted a sponge into the vagina so she could swim. This isn’t wise – use a tampon or menstrual cup instead)

Headphones

A hot towel

A phone and money (the patient was having sex with her boyfriend when he put a phone and cash into her vagina)

Clay

A candlestick

A lollipop

15 stone balls (the patient was using urethral vaginal stone balls, the string holding the balls together dissolved, and she could only retrieve 14 balls)

A toy wand

Image VIA 

PENIS

A little screw

A sharp toy

A four inch long metal sex toy

A plastic spoon

Piece of domino

Piece of plastic shampoo bottle

Paperclip (patient put paperclip through urethra and punctured through shaft of penis)

Coaxial cable

Image VIA 

People sure are imaginative aren’t they? Or too lazy/embarrassed/cheap to go and buy a sex toy that is actually designed to fit into either of those places and is safe to put there. I guess nobody ever thinks about that though eh? The safety factor of buying a legit sex toy. Something to think about in the new year.

For more of the same, check out what people got stuck up their butts last year. Creative.