Take a look at that shit. Do you know what it is? That’s a fvcking duck fetus. Daddy duck jizzed all up in mommy duck and they fertilized an egg, but that duckling aint getting birthed anytime soon, that shit is dinner for some people. Not just dinner though, this is actually considered a delicacy to the South-East Asians…it’s not like ‘hey were really poor so let’s just eat whatever we can’, no, people out in Asia actually love this shit.
I had to see it to believe it myself. Before I went over to Vietnam I’d read all about the weird food like snakes hearts and dogs and shit, but a duck embryo? What the fvck? Anyway, in the small mountain spa town of Sapa; myself, a couple of drunk Canadians, and a Swede for cosmopolitanism, headed out into the night markets to find a fertilized egg as they like to call it in ‘Nam. Usually the local Hmong tribe like to fvck with the foreigners and get all up in their personal space, flogging their shitty clothes, but they were reserved that evening – hogging the fvcking embryos. We saw some old lady barbequing eggs on a makeshift grill above the squalid floor. ‘Is that a duck embryo?’ I asked, to no response. Thankfully some nice Vietnamese couple translated and we were soon handed the egg in return for hundreds-of-thousands of Vietnamese DONG (yes – Vietnamese currency is called DONG, lulz). Cracking the egg-shell, a browning, black, veiny surface was revealed, and we took a scoop each. The taste can only be described as a dirty, bony egg – basically it was grim, but for visual aid here is some Cambodian chick chomping down on one like there’s no fvcking tomorrow.
It’s fair to say that Asia is the homeland of weird food, and I’ve eaten some messed up shit over there myself, but thankfully I’ve never sat down for dinner and had to apprehend my food just to keep it on the table. You see in Asia some people like their food still alive, still crawling around, and probably still begging for mercy. Would you tuck into this dancing squid in Japan?
Finally, for good measure, here is a video of some Vietnamese blokes sitting around a table having a laugh and eating some massive Lion-King looking grubs. I think this whole series should be called ‘Fucked Up Food From Asia’, because, quite frankly, that’s where it’s all coming from. This video is pretty long, but if you skip to 2:47 you’ll see one of the Vietnamese LADS sucking on a bug like George Michael in a public toilet.