Not so long ago we reported on a sly new dating trend called Love Bombing, which means to be showered with attention, gifts and promises of a commitment right at the start of the relationship. The one carrying out these extreme acts of kindness is then “allowed” to start acting like a complete dick, using the past experiences as justification if their new partner complains.
Featured Image VIA
Anyway, it was only a couple of weeks ago that this phenomenon was classed as a trend and already another one has emerged out of the proverbial woodwork and it sounds just as bad as Love Bombing. It’s called Stashing and it basically involves two people dating, but one member of the couple has decided to hide the relationship away from everyone and everything in their life.
So while one member of the couple is inviting the other to meet friends and family and putting up pictures of the two on social media, the other hides the relationship away, keeping it a secret from their social circle.
A victim of stashing is hidden from every part of the stasher’s life, from their tagged photos on social media to their chats with their parents. This way they can carry on enjoying all the fun parts of dating, for example the sex and companionship, but are still able to pretend that they’re not held down to anyone. This means that they can carry on hooking up with other people and doing whatever they like without having to consider the other person’s feelings.
It’s a pretty awful experience for the stashed person, of course, who is just hoping to start a normal, monogamous relationship. But if they ask the stasher about it, they will make them feel like they are being crazy, saying that they don’t speak to their parents anyway, or that they shouldn’t focus on documenting their relationship on social media. They’ll say it’s their friends who they’re ashamed of, not the partner. Over time this wears down the stashed person, making them feel unvalued and disrespected.
If you’ve read this and you think you’re being stashed, there are a couple of things you can do. Firstly, you can bring up the issues to the stasher and say how you’re feeling. In some cases, the stasher might not even realise they are doing it and it might just take a little bit of communication for them to start incorporating you into their life. If that does happen, great.
If not, unfortunately the only answer is to get rid. This is obviously easier said than done, but the fact is that stashing is truly awful for a person’s self-worth and if the stasher is not willing to change then it’s only going to get worse over time. The important thing to remember is that you’re not crazy and you do deserve to be with someone who is going to introduce you to their friends and family and be proud to let people know that they’re with you. If they’re not willing to do this then it’s time to move on and find someone who will do all those things. Good luck.
To read the Sick Chirpse guide to surviving a dating show, click HERE.