Good news for our reader who sent in this confession the other week — a group of researchers in the UK have collected every single credible study they could get their hands on pertaining to penis size, then collected up to 15,000 data points of their own to produce a final, definitive answer as to the length of the average penis.

Here are the results – get those rulers out:

Flaccid = 3.6 inches long, 3.7 inches around

Erect = 5.2 inches long, 4.6 inches around

There you go. It’s official. Apparently the study also found that there’s no real correlation between penis size and race, or penis size and foot size. No doubt some people will disagree with that one but hey, that’s what science says so who are you to argue?

Obviously, humans didn’t even register on our rundown of the world’s largest body to penis ratios.