A naked 17-year-old who was blatantly on something tried to break into the home of a couple in Ohio this week, and ended up pulling off the most outrageous reaction to getting shot ever.

The homeowners, a married couple, called 911 as they tried to engage the kid in conversation to keep him calm, and at one point dispatchers heard the female homeowner tell him “Stay away from me, you will get shot.”

The kid went to grab her around the throat and the woman’s husband had no choice but to shoot him in the back with his shotgun.

The kid responded by going nuts and running into walls before escaping onto the front porch. The man said he went to give the kid towels to prevent the bleeding till cops arrived, and found him furiously masturbating as he bled from the shotgun wound.

Warren County Prosecutor David Fornshell said:

When police officers arrived on scene, he was still highly sexualized because when the officer attempted to arrest him, he assaulted the officer in the groin area.

The teen was taken to hospital and is expected to recover, and will be charged with attempted burglary, attempted rape, assault on police and public indecency.

The teen’s dad said:

He just seemed a little off, like he wasn’t really himself. He’s been under a lot of stress lately with graduation and everything.

Ah yes, that’ll be it. I always break into people’s homes, get shot and start masturbating when I’m stressed out. But I guess when you’re horny, you’re horny. Not even a shotgun blast to the spine is going to get in the way of that.

One hell of a trip in any case, though not the first time we’ve seen someone’s horniness get the better of them while tripping balls.