CHIRPSES

BEST TOILER PAPER EVER: SHIT BEGONE

Not only does it have possibly the best name of any product ever, it’s 100% recycled and soft as a pillow too!

Apparently Shit Begone was recently discovered in China, and it probably is the best toilet paper ever. I mean, what could be more apt?

Actually, a quick google search found out that that’s probably completely incorrect (regarding its initial discovery in China) and that it was actually the brainchild of some dude called Jed Ela who is based in Brooklyn. He thought it would be really funny to design a toilet paper called Shit Begone when he was in college and then decided to set up his own business manufacturing and distributing it. And to be fair it is pretty funny, maybe not funny enough to start my own business though.

Shit Begone is also 100% recycled and according to a couple of blogs I looked on, it’s way better than your average recycled toilet paper as it’s really soft on your ass and not scratchy at all. According to a press release this is because Shit Begone is unembossed – ‘meaning you get more strength, more sheets and the true softness that your ass needs.’ It does sound a lot better than your average toilet roll. And the best part? Obviously the name! It looks as though it was actually doing fairly well in the toilet roll market as well.

Unfortunately it looks as though scenes like the one above are no longer commonplace for Jed Ela and the rest of the guys at Shit Begone. If you go to the official website (ShitBegone.com, naturally) you’re confronted with the following, rather desperate message:

‘ShitBegone Toilet Paper is seeking a new home.

Profitable product with solid growth and margins. Over 150,000 rolls sold to date.

Name and logo available for licensing. Low royalties.

If interested contact jed [at] shitbegone.com.’

which is pretty sad. In an interview I read on poopreport.com – which is a site that reports on people taking shits – Jed claimed that toilet paper was a big business run by some very powerful people and that even if he started making a living off Shit Begone then he would still only have a 0.002% share of the market.

This is a believable claim, and it looks as though one of those guys has taken Jed and Shit Begone out.


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