This is pretty hilarious, although I’m not sure of the moral implications of putting someone’s really embarrassing 911 call on the internet, but hey this is Sick Chirpse so what do we care about the moral implications of anything, right? It turns out that this pastor from Springfield, Illinois has taken a leave of absence from his church after this 911 call became publicised. I guess this is fair enough because the church already has enough of a stigma surrounding it with all the priests that end up being paedophiles, but it’s perhaps a bit harsh considering that 911 calls should probably not be in the public domain. It’s even harsher if the guy was just messing around with the handcuffs and managed to get trapped in them like he said. But that’s hardly likely is it?
According to the dude – who goes by the name of Tom Donovan – he was just ‘playing with the cuffs’ when he managed to get stuck in them. How the hell does that even happen? Who the hell plays with handcuffs, especially if they don’t have the keys at hand? And why would he have been gagged as well? The fact that he was gagged as well when he makes this call also implies that his arms were handcuffed behind his back as he couldn’t take the gag out of his mouth. How the hell would anyone get into that situation just by messing around? And how did he manage to use a phone to dial 911? This whole incident is raising a lot of questions that I hope can get answered but probably never will be.
I mean, I have never ever been messing around and have something even slightly resembling that happen to me. Not even slightly. So you gotta admit that it is kinda puzzling. Maybe I’m doing the wrong kind of messing around but it sounds more to me like this dude was messing around with some sex toys with a pissed off lover (I don’t wanna sound homophobic but probably a male knowing the way the church seems to operate and the equipment on display) who handcuffed him up and then ditched him in his place of work, probably because he had been ‘messing around’ with handcuffs with some other dude recently. Just a theory.
If I was trapped in a pair of handcuffs with a gag in my mouth I don’t think I would call the police though, in fairness I’m not sure who I would call though. Which one of my friends would find that kind of stuff acceptable and not tell everyone I knew? Probably none of them because I think I can appreciate how hilarious it would be to find me in that situation. I think it would be more embarrassing to have a complete stranger come down and look at you like you were a complete freak as they helped you out of the gag and cuffs, and then have my 911 call placed on the internet and then lose my job, but I guess Tom Donovan rolled the dice and hit snake eyes. You win some you lose some.
In fairness to the dude though he is really polite during the phone call considering he must have been in a high level of distress. It’s pretty jokes because he’s kind of slurring/lisping all the way through it (due to being gagged) so it sounds even funnier that he’s being so polite when he has to repeat himself over and over again, slower and slower because the operator can’t understand what he’s saying. The whole thing is a hoot, I only wish there were some pictures of him when the police officers turned up to help him. Also there doesn’t seem to be any information about how they got him out of the handcuffs (or if they even did!) which again would have been kind of interesting to hear. Anyway, check this out and have a laugh:
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