MUSIC

2012’s Rebecca Black: Double Take – Hot Girl Problems

If you thought Rebecca Black’s Friday was bad, then you need to check this out. It’s next level.

So remember last year when the whole world went mental because some teenage girl had released a catchy pop hit about it being Friday and how we had to get down because it was Friday? There were other great lyrics like where she described how it was really tough choosing what she had for breakfast and how it was really tough deciding what seat she should sit in in the aforementioned car. Pretty tough life huh? I guess all of us probably had it that tough when we were 13. But yeah, that isn’t anything compared to the problems facing this year’s equivalent of Rebecca Black Double Take. Man have they got problems – hot girl problems.

To say this video is the worst music video and song in history would be an understatement. Now I came in for a lot of shit on Sick Chirpse a couple of weeks ago when I posted that Carly Rae Jepsen video saying it was a good example of decent, catchy overproduced pop music and hopefully people can see what I mean when comparing it to this trash. Even Rebecca Black is about ten thousand times better than this. I mean at least she knew how to sing, or use the autotune app on her iPhone or whatever. These two girls just can’t sing AT ALL, the song sounds so flat and terrible it really makes you want to go cut your ears off rather than continue. Why the hell didn’t you autotune it?!?!

Despite this nausea inducing ‘singing’ you will be compelled to continue listening to the song due to the lyrics which are probably best described as retarded. Whereas Rebecca Black got derided for singing about stupid trivial things that are probably actually really important to a 13 year old, these girls are just singing about things that make them look completely delusional. ‘don’t get me wrong I know I’m hot, but textbook perfection really takes a lot’ is the kind of lyric that might sound good or hot if someone who could actually sing like Miley Cyrus (who is also horribly, horribly, namechecked in this song) sang it, but from these two brats it just makes you want to punch them in the face.  The chorus is even more cringeworthy – ‘hot girls we’ve got problems too. We’re just like you. Except we’re hot.’ Yeah, I’m really sympathetic to your problems now bitch.

The second verse continues with even more inane lyrics – ‘Just because I’ve got this butt doesn’t mean I’m a slut’ before ending with ‘the funny thing is – I wasn’t even at that party.’ Oh ha ha ha ha. This isn’t as funny as the rap they attempt in the bridge of the song which thankfully only lasts about 15 seconds. It’s possibly the most painful part of the whole song though, although this is obviously debatable as the whole thing is pain.

The video is retarded too and looks as though it had a budget of one blow job from one of the girls. Not one each, it isn’t good enough for that. They’re just kinda singing in the back of a limo (you know because they’re hot rich girls and hot rich girls get driven around in limos cruising for slutty guys) interspersed with some TERRIBLE POV stock footage of a car driving through some buzzing busy city streets at night. Oh yeah, and the two girls aren’t even hot. Well I mean if you were 15 you might take them out to pizza express in the hopes of a hand job afterwards but it’s not like they were the hottest girls in the class or you’re gonna spend much time jerking off over the thought of a night with them. They’re just gross. Oh yeah, and I guess they’re called double take because they have the same hairstyle and almost look similar. Smart!

Perhaps the best thing about this debacle though is the comments from the dude who uploaded it onto YouTube –

‘Old Bailey Productions did not create any of the audio or lyrics for this video. We produced the video as a favor.’ Even the people who uploaded it are desperate to detach themselves from any association with it. Says it all really huh? Although it’s kind of weird they admitted to producing the video for a favour – do they think this is going to improve business?

Needless to say the song/video has gone viral and Double Take are probably millionaires now. If you really want to check it out after reading all this you can do so below:

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__HeE6NWmDE’]


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