"Stick your f**kin ISIS up your arse."
So being asleep is an excuse for a multitude of crimes now, apparently.
This guy's face is all over CCTV and he is completely fucked when police catch up with him.
Be warned - you can't unsee this.
I'm lovin' it.
The early days of the telephone look like they were really, really stupid.
What's the best way to gain an advantage in an important football match? Set up a karaoke singer outside your opponents' hotel...
Over in Sweden, police have come up with a novel way to control football violence on derby day.