I’ve never really had much cause to think about Sweden – Zlatan Ibrahimovic and now Dejan Kulsevski are both pretty cool, but that’s about it – but people are going crazy over a recent revelation on Twitter and it seems as though the whole country is cancelled now.
Featured Image VIA
It turns out that over in Sweden if you’re visiting your friend’s house when you’re a kid, then the family would often eat their dinner without you and not offer you any food whilst you would sit in another room on your own. If you stayed overnight, then this would also happen in regards to breakfast and you would just go hungry in your buddy’s bedroom whilst they tucked into some delicious croissants or whatever.
Here’s a few highlights from the thread, including the original tweet, reactions and stories of other people growing up in Sweden:
Swedes are an antisocial and weird lot. Alot of foul things are just accepted as “normal”. Not feeding your kids friends is one of those things.
— Lovette🏳️🌈 (@lovettejallow) May 29, 2022
As I trailed behind my friend heading for the dinner table, the mom sternly told me I was allowed to wait and play with the toys in my friends room until dinner was done ✅ 😂 let me just say The swedes are not well at all. pic.twitter.com/LSr7wRjE9F
— Lovette🏳️🌈 (@lovettejallow) May 29, 2022
My mom would make us hide the strawberries we were eating if she saw the neighbors kids coming up to our house. Scarcity not an issue, lack of generosity yes 🇸🇪
— maria (@MariaUSBRSW) May 29, 2022
i love how swedish people in the comments keep trying to come up with extravagant excuses and the rest of the world is like “nah y’all just rude”
— 🌻 Sauce Maggie 🌻 (@mcgee_mauve) May 29, 2022
First time I was invited to a Swedish birthday party they asked me to pay them for the food, it was such a shock cause I didn’t ask to be invited, but I paid thinking maybe it’s a big meal, I get there and all they had was their nasty soggy smörgåstårta 😭
— Kolo titiko (@DeppadBanni) May 29, 2022
Born and raised in Sweden. Never ate dinner in my best friends house, she never ate dinner in my house. Maybe I got a cinnamon bun once in 20 years.
Our neighbors had GIANT pear trees with thousands of small delicious pears. I we took one they almost called the police.— Margareta 🇨🇦🇸🇪 (@MarBenHouse) May 30, 2022
When I was about 10 I played football. After a game I was supposed to get a lift from my bestfriends mom and when she realized that i didn’t have any gas money she kicked me out of the car & let me walk home in the rain lol. Mind you we live right next to eachother 😭
— barbie (@Barbheretodrag) May 30, 2022
The worst experience I had at my then Swedish (white) best friend was we were called down for dinner but there was only plates with food ready for her & her family. I had sit there & watch them eat. They didn’t even offer me water, my mom never let me go there again after school.
— Hannan (@svartpowerpuff) May 30, 2022
in 10th grade i had to do a report on Sweden for my international business class. i researched education, employment + benefits, healthcare, quality of life… on paper Sweden sounded like paradise on earth. but deep down I KNEW there had to be a catch. discovered it 11 yrs later. https://t.co/D2mlwwSaEV
— Seph⁷ (@sephorajoonie) June 1, 2022
Having people over and not feeding them is such a wild concept https://t.co/7I5dkCkv71
— Muted. Argue with yourself. (@___inCANdescent) May 30, 2022
I’m so glad Sweden is being called out. Finally y’all have transcended just talking about what’s wrong with the US and UK and realize MANY other countries have messed up cultures too.
Now let’s get into the Dutch and their blackface parties. 🥴 #Swedengate https://t.co/ggGB6Yeexw
— ⚡️ (@nickitellem) May 30, 2022
Sweden is at the center of an international controversy over food and hospitality https://t.co/1QZtG88nup
— Karen Attiah (@KarenAttiah) May 30, 2022
this is the most heartless thing in the world, money can pass but food? hospitality is something that in my culture is appreciated https://t.co/RUlSg1XiFm
— JUVY DA JAVER (semi hiatus) (@LEIXO_MC) May 30, 2022
How do Scandinavian countries top the World Happiness Report with prettiness like this?? https://t.co/IAJzzdmO81
— Poetic Justice (@MalaaiLama) May 30, 2022
Savage. Can’t really get my head around not offering someone food if they were in my house – I feel like I would be so awkward eating whilst they were just sitting around twiddling their thumbs and going hungry. Completely strange behaviour.
Thankfully, if you’re wondering why this is considered normal in Scandinavian countries, then someone wrote this other really long Twitter thread explaining the historical context:
We can see that there is a strong correlation with The Northern Germanic cultures and it has to do with various adaptations and reactions to the specific honor /shame economy of the Norse “Empire” (what is commonly referred to as Viking culture. ).
— Incompent Beneficiary of Nepotism (@WallySierk) May 29, 2022
In Norse culture, hospitality (providing food, drink, lodging) was a duty of higher status individuals towards people of lower status, but the act of receiving hospitality created an obligation or debt on the part of the recipient.
— Incompent Beneficiary of Nepotism (@WallySierk) May 29, 2022
One of the challenges of the Protestant church in Scandinavia post 30 years war was to create a culture that tamped down on personal violence and civic unrest. Since the root of a lot of the interpersonal violence was competition for status and extraction of payment
— Incompent Beneficiary of Nepotism (@WallySierk) May 29, 2022
This became much more important in the very difficult 1700/early 1800’s, as population pressure, growing inequality and industrialization pushed a lot of Scandinavians out of the homeland and into America and other colonies. As people left and land changed hands ,
— Incompent Beneficiary of Nepotism (@WallySierk) May 29, 2022
And reduction of conflict, they created a society that minimized the creation of debt and obligation, and maximized the ability of the individual/family to be self sufficient. This “not feeding the neighbor kids” weirdness Is about maintaining peace in the community.
— Incompent Beneficiary of Nepotism (@WallySierk) May 29, 2022
Interpersonal conflict and maintaining civic peace. I personally think it needs to be moderated in order for people to live healthy complete lives, but I hope that the revulsion that many people were expressing will be tempered by understanding the source of it.
— Incompent Beneficiary of Nepotism (@WallySierk) May 29, 2022
That kinda makes sense (and is also incredibly boring) but you would think that at this point someone would have just thought it was weird that you were eating food in your house with your family and not offering your mate any? I suppose it’s hard to move away from ingrained behaviours, but even so this seems especially weird. Hopefully the furore about it on Twitter might help the next generation of Swedes not starve to death in the future. Maybe Zlatan can do something to help too.
For more of the same, check out this photo series of Swedish oddities. Eye opening.
