I am a little disillusioned with the superheroes of today. Batman is too narcissistic, Spiderman is too prepubescent to take seriously and Superman is frankly fruitier than a Pina Colada. If I’m meant to be entertained by the idea that when shit goes down there will be a masked vigilante ready to sweep in and fvck shit up, I want to see some real hardened criminals, I mean, imagine Iron Man snorting his way through a mountain of cocaine and speeding down Sunset Boulevard narrowly missing pedestrians. Oh, wait.
In short, have you ever wanted to see Spiderman shake it like he’s working for tips? Me neither.. Okay, I would (as long as it wasn’t Toby Maguire).
This video alone is enough to make Stan Lee spin in his eagerly awaiting grave. Here’s what would happen if you leave the more well known heroes from the Marvel and DC franchises alone in Atlanta with a few bottles of Grey Goose and not enough money to get home.
Anyway, the real questions this video raises are, ‘who hired this people for a child’s birthday and are they available for funeral booking?’ but I am far too busy early anticipating the bastardisation of ‘Rocket Raccoon’, yet another Marvel jerk off who will be smeared all over our screens in 2014 at the hands of James Gunn, director of the critically acclaimed ‘Scooby Doo‘ and ‘Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed‘. Don’t all rush out to prebook your tickets too soon.
In the meantime, check out what The Hulk is up to these days: The Hulk Is Getting A New Movie. Again