CHIRPSES

Ridiculous Tour Riders

BackStage

Fame generally means you can get what you want, when you want. Some of these prima donnas really take the piss when it comes to their diva demands, from certain coloured foods to photos of Princess Diana and dictating who can make eye contact with them and when.

With the quality of celebrities these days, it seems that the minute some fool is recognized for a mild talent that generally requires air quotations like ‘singing’, they believe they are also deserving of the title ‘Best Person In The World Who Shall Have Anything Their Heart Desires The Minute They Request It’. We’ve bred the worst kind of overpaid monkeys and made them think they’re special enough to demand things like no brown M&M’s backstage- cough- Van Halen. Still, that’s small beans compared to the ‘talent’ these days, Katy Perrys rider forbids people to look at her without her consent and Mary J. Blige will not sit down on a toilet seat that has accommodated anyone else’s bottom. I don’t care what anyone says about the talent testing the help by making petty requests to ensure that they’ve done everything on the health and safety checklist,  they’re actually just being wangs cause they can be. Here’s some shitters to further wind you up about being poor and talentless. Follow @BrodiSnook or else.

Kanye West is one extravagant dude, and a fairly hated one at that. Famous more for fvcking up award shows than stringing rhyming words together, he’s one of those rapper-cum-fashion designer-cum-film director-cum record producer-cum all round shit stirrer. Let’s face it, if Barack Obama labels someone a ‘jackass’, he definitely is. Always decked out in real fur, shades you could buy a car with and his own brand of Nike shoes, he’s bound to have expensive taste when it comes to tours. Kanye West will only wipe his brow on imported and re-cut Versace towels. Heaven forbid that his decadent, graceless face should touch anything from BHS. Presumably content with being the man who has everything, he’s turned his attention onto his hired help. Kanye West will not be driven by a chauffeur unless he is wearing clothes made of 100% cotton, saying he will not stand for ‘man made fibres’. I can actually hear my blood boiling.

☛ More: Katy Perry’s Bra Deemed Too Dangerous And Subsequently Banned 


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