I went over to the Slotsfjell festival in Norway and Sick Chirpse asked me to send a postcard but seriously, do you know how expensive Norway is? A stamp in Norway costs the same as a Car in India. I guess it’s the price you pay for getting to live in a country that looks like a CGI landscape for a AD&D movie.
The best thing about it is that it doesn’t get dark till after midnight and it takes two hours for the sun to set, and it looks like this, proper wow.
Slotsfjell itself is in a little town about an hour away from Oslo, apparently its where all the rich people from oslo go and spend their weekends on Yachts. The Yachts you see in this picture after dark fill up with drunk Scandy yahoos who only listen to A-Ha and Royksopp too loud. The festival site is on this huge hill, a natural fort with an ancient church at the top. Guilfest it ain’t. Everywhere you go on site you can’t help but sigh.
The other thing about Norway and specifically about the Slotsfjell Festival is that it feels like there are about 4 girls to every guy. And those 4 girls are all 9s. They have some supremely admirable genes over there, do Norwegians even get cancer or heart disease?
But on the downside if you want to buy a girl a drink it’ll cost you 20 quid. Its ridiculous. Also, you can’t just buy a bottle of vodka and sip from it all night like I normally would at a festival, they have to give you a little bit at a time, like its medicine. Lucky for me I didn’t have to pay for a drink the whole time I was there because of the generosity of DJ Dreamtrak who I met out there. He’s a London based producer/DJ who has done remixes recently for Beat Connection, cop it here:
and his remix of Care Bears by Teeth (who’s album he also produced) is also make my balls rumble right now:
Dreamtrak was the resident DJ at the after hours warehouse party, he let me drink his rider all night whilst he played an amazing mix of vintage acid house, lost Italo gems and lots of his own productions and remixes that managed to celebrate the best excesses of the mid nineties house boom. The highlight of the night, and of the trip was this. Dreamtrak dropped this amazing re-edit he’s done of First We Take Manhattan by Leonard Cohen, he has literally put a banging donk on it, massive vibes.
So anyway, thanks Dreamtrak for the music and for saving me from bankruptcy by giving me all that booze. And thanks Norway for being full of amazing girls.