If you’ve been following the run-up to the release of ‘Madame Web’ at all, you probably know that expectations were super low and that no one expected it to be any good whatsoever. Everything about it (aside from Sydney Sweeney and Dakota Johnson starring) just seemed awful from every teaser/poster/trailer they put out, with even the star of the movie herself confessing last week that the filming process was “psychotic” and she “didn’t know if [the movie] would be good”.
Meanwhile, the one clip that Sony decided to release yesterday to promote Madame Web was completely terrible and cringey in every way possible:
First clip from ‘MADAME WEB.’
Releasing in theaters this Wednesday. pic.twitter.com/BTPYGcdbeb
— The Hollywood Handle (@HollywoodHandle) February 13, 2024
And so it probably won’t shock you to learn that the first reviews for Madame Web have not been kind: a measly 17% on Rotten Tomatoes and getting dragged all through the mud on X also:
Yeah, #MadameWeb is somehow worse than you feared. One of the worst movies ever made, in any genre. Story makes absolutely no sense. The “action” is boring, with barely any cape stuff. Dakota Johnson looks as bored as you’ll feel. It makes MORBIUS look like THE DARK KNIGHT. pic.twitter.com/fOA5RQJUey
— Sean O’Connell (@Sean_OConnell) February 13, 2024
The awkward cut makes it look like Dakota Johnson is rushing to the car to save Dakota Johnson who’s already in the car. #MadameWeb pic.twitter.com/xag2dHH74s
— Jay Thomas (@GroundhogJay_) February 13, 2024
#MadameWeb is the worst comic book movie since Catwoman but it will be redeemed by all the memes it will create pic.twitter.com/EKXwLKrGdD
— Physical Media President (@PhysicalMedia_) February 13, 2024
#MadameWeb is the movie I’ve waited for all my life. I laughed, I cried, and I cheered like hell. Was it good? Not at all. It was awful and at times genuinely angered me. But this latest Sonyverse adventure shows there’s still some life in the movies. Marvel is saving cinema pic.twitter.com/zEcESDHc0O
— Z (@TheeDCstan) February 13, 2024
Yep. #MadameWeb is the worst of the Sony Spider-Verse live action films.
A supremely, boring, plodding and ineffectual film that manages to waste all of its acting talent (including #SydneySweeney and #IsabelaMerced ) in a futile effort to tell some supposedly heartbreaking… pic.twitter.com/9olDIznLdQ
— John Rocha aka The Outlaw Nation (@TheRochaSays) February 13, 2024
#MadameWeb spins a chaotic and perplexing theatrical experience that challenges viewers to question their reality in unexpected ways. Characters and story will leave you confused and bewildered. With no clear vision, this web becomes a tangled mess. pic.twitter.com/ld8lQjfe5V
— Anthony • The Movie Podcast (@AJGaliardi) February 13, 2024
#MadameWeb is an embarrassing mess. Talented stars wasted on probably the worst comic book movie I have ever seen. Filled with atrocious dialogue, awkward editing, & all around laughable structure. I sat there baffled scene by scene someone approved this. The memes will redeem it pic.twitter.com/wwxBZmzf1f
— Cris Parker (@3CFilmss) February 13, 2024
Madame Web might be the closest thing we get as a spiritual successor to 04’s Catwoman. Maybe one of the most baffling films I’ve ever got to witness. Filled with characters so uninteresting, an over abundance of eye rolling dialogue, and editing so nauseating I was in awe. pic.twitter.com/2JDi48kIRj
— Giovanni Lago (@TheGiovanniLago) February 13, 2024
You get the picture. Although it does sorta sound like, at best, Madame Web could become a so-bad-it’s-good cult classic like the aforementioned Catwoman or Morbius. The latter of which, funnily enough, was written by the same scriptwriting duo responsible for Madame Web and a list of other classic howlers:
Amazing. All I know for sure is that there’s no way I’m wasting my time and money watching Madame Web at the cinema, but I might check it out for a laugh when it lands on streaming.
Just goes to show that despite being Hollywood’s #1 girl at the moment, not everything Sydney Sweeney touches will turn to gold. Although she did absolutely smash it in the latest Rolling Stones music video, so fair play to her for that.
