A study from a church named the Creflo Dollar Ministry – which probably has absolutely no credibility whatsoever – has determined that kids from the late 80s and early 90s who have grown up to be queer have probably done so on account of Pokemon.
Their reasoning for this: many of the Pokemon have parts of their body that are phallic in nature and that the relationship between main character Ash and his buddy Brock in the show could perhaps be conceived as homosexual. Clearly, a lot of research and science has gone into this study, as you can see in the slideshow which features a whole different bunch of Pokemon and their alleged connections to homosexuality.
We all know that creators of children’s TV shows often put in weird Easter Eggs for the adults watching them to laugh at and enjoy, but to imply that the imagery in Pokemon is responsible for a whole generation of homosexuality is just ridiculous. I mean sure, there is some imagery there – whether deliberate or not – but if this is the only reason for it then why did homosexuality exist before and continue to exist after? You can’t seriously explain it via imagery in a cartoon – it’s just such an ignorant argument and that’s just the tip of the iceberg here.
If you need any more context for how completely and utterly stupid this organisation is, then look no further than the fact that the head minister of this church group tried to crowd fund the money for a private jet because God told him he needed it. Sounds legit, sure.
Anyway, we all know how this is going to end – the head of the church will probably end up married to a man, just like the head of this anti gay group did or these two convicted homophobic killers did in jail.
Click/swipe through the slideshow for a rundown of what makes each Pokemon “gay”…
Apparently Bulbasaur has a ‘representation of female breasts attached to an odd animal to cast doubt on their attraction to young men’. Right.
Mew is allegedly the perfect representation of the third sex. I’m not sure what that is supposed to even mean, let alone how it relates to homosexuality.
Apparently Aspicot looks like this to encourage young boys to be comfortable with dick shapes. Again, this sounds like it’s 100% the reason behind Apsicot looking like this, and not the fact that he’s based on a centipede.
Bellsprout looks like this in an attempt to get children to think that sucking dick is acceptable and fun. Again, even when we know that there are a bunch of creepy cartoon conspiracies out there, you can’t really expect me to believe that this was the one crux of Bellsprout’s design, can you?
The fact that Charmander never stops to put out the fire on the end of his tail apparently has something to do with being gay – I guess he’s a flamer?! – but I really think they’re stretching it now with this ‘extensive’ research.
OK, maybe Gloom does look like he’s been up to something a bit naughty here, but who’s to even say he’s male? Or that Pokemon is only aimed at male kids? It’s still ridiculous.