So there’s undeniably lots of shit stuff happening in the world. I just saw a soldier get his heart cut out and then eaten. No no no. With bombings, acid attacks and girls chomping on tampons, we really need to do all we can to have faith in today’s world. I do partly blame Germaine Greer in ‘The Female Eunich’ for that particular sick tragedy, for outlining that you’re not a true feminist until you have tasted your own menstrual blood. Um, no, mate. I mean, bitches be eating 5,000 calories a day in order to be famous! ROLF HARRIS IS A PAEDOPHILE! How did we get here guys? This is why there will never be a shortage of cute and funny cat videos going around; you simply can’t put a high enough price on a smile in this sick, sad world.
Anyway, there’s some awesome Aussie dudes out there who have decided to get on with shit despite the world going down the gurgler. They’ve done the math: beer is good right? Beer is better when it’s open right? Beer is even better when it’s opened on a wheel of a motorbike right?! Spreading the love are these innovative beer drinkers, who presumably had been caught out without a bottle opener too many times and decided to take matters into their own hands using a variety of fvcking awesome things. My favourites would have to be a slice of pizza, a dude’s forearm and machete. Be prepared for your daily quota of sheer joy.
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