LIFE

If You Don’t Do These 39 Things You’re Not A Gentleman… Apparently

Do you pass the gentleman test?

Reckon pouring your girlfriend a cup of tea before sorting out your own makes you the perfect gentleman? Think you’re certified just because you once helped a little old lady across the road? Nah mate, takes a lot more than the odd act of kindness to truly reach gentleman status, at least according to Gentleman’s Life magazine, who know what they’re on about according to that title.

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So what maketh the modern gentleman? A whole bunch of things — some that personally come naturally, butt others that I’ll probably have to work on if I’m to ever be a gentleman in Gentleman Life magazine’s eyes.

So how gentlemanly are you then, sat there reading this in your underwear while stoned off your nut. Have a read through and see…

airport

1. Negotiates airports with ease

door

2. Never lets a door slam in someone’s face

dog

3. Can train a dog and a rose

face

4. Is aware that facial hair is temporary, but a tattoo is permanent

Close-up portrait of a man putting his finger to his lips

5. Knows when not to say anything

learn

6. Wears his learning lightly

suit

7. Possesses at least one well-made dark suit, one tweed suit and a dinner jacket

socks

8. Avoids lilac socks and polishes his shoes

silent

9. Turns his mobile to silent at dinner

lug

10. Carries house guests’ luggage to their rooms

Tipping the Game Keeper

11. Tips staff in a private house and a gamekeeper in the shooting field

intro

12. Says his name when being introduced

face

13. Breaks a relationship face to face

true

14. Is unafraid to speak the truth

clap

15. Knows when to clap

3aly

16. Arrives at a meeting five minutes before the agreed time

wai

17. Is good with waiters

kids

18. Has two tricks to entertain children

hand

19. Can undo a bra with one hand

sing

20. Sings lustily in church

A hungry man holding a knife and a fork ready to eat a stack of raw steak

21. Is not vegetarian

boat

22. Can sail a boat and ride a horse

glen

23. Knows the difference between Glenfiddich and Glenda Jackson

kiss

24 Never kisses and tells

om

25. Cooks an omelette to die for

fire

26. Can prepare a one match bonfire

host

27. Seeks out his hostess at a party

emo

28. Knows when to use an emoji

chi

29. Would never own a Chihuahua

p

30. Has read Pride and Prejudice

bow

31. Can tie his own bow tie

rico

32. Would not go to Puerto Rico

cow

33. Knows the difference between a rook and a crow

sandals

34. Sandals? No. Never

rose

35. Wears a rose, not a carnation

fly

36. Swats flies and rescues spiders

love

37. Demonstrates that making love is neither a race nor a competition

hair

38. Never blow dries his hair

tip

39. Knows that there is always an exception to a rule

Phew, that last one kinda saved the day didn’t it? Make it a few exceptions for me actually.

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