I imagine there isn’t anything more terrifying than waking up to someone licking your butt who you think is your boyfriend, and then discovering that it isn’t him at all but some random dude who has broken into your house.

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That’s the situation that an unnamed woman from Sydney found herself in though when a guy named Joseph Taouk broke into her house last year and posted up on the side of her bed licking her butt. She at first thought it was her boyfriend, but when she reached across and felt him across the bed from her she immediately knew it was someone else.

Impressively, she was able to stay calm and whispered to her boyfriend that there was someone licking her butt. He immediately got up and confronted Taouk and asked him what the hell he was doing, to which Taouk replied that he thought this was the boarding house and he walked in because the front door was open.

Right. That’s a completely terrible excuse – even if it was true then why the hell would he think he could start licking some woman’s butt cheeks because of it, especially when she was in bed with another man? Makes absolutely no sense at all. Don’t think he thought that one through.

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Taouk was arrested nearby with two viagra pills and a dildo on him and has now been sentenced to two years in jail. His lawyer said that he was suffering from mental illness at the time which probably isn’t that surprising given what he was getting up to.

For more sex weirdos, check out this guy who whored out his dog so he could have sex with farm animals. Seriously.