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Woman Plans To Marry A Copy Of Tetris After Failed Relationship With A Calculator

I’M IN LOVE WITH THE SHAPE OF YOU: MATHS ADDICT STUDENT REVEALS PLAN TO MARRY VIDEO GAME TETRIS.

She’s finally found happiness.

We’ve covered the phenomenon of objects sexual on the website before – a condition where sufferers are sexually attracted to objects rather than humans – but it never ceases to amaze me when I hear about these people picking their partners.

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The latest character to come forward about it is 20 year old Florida maths student Noorul Mahjabeen Hassan. She’s previously been in relationships with GPS devices, monorails and iPods, but now she feels that she’s found her true love with the video game Tetris.

Hassan prefers now to go by the name Fractal Tetris Huracan and plans to formally marry her lover in two years after she’s finished her studies. Responsible. In case you’re wondering how she gets off with Tetris, apparently she uses a Tetris themed cushion and a hard drive. Figure out how that works yourself.

Speaking about the relationship, Huracan said the following:

It started when I would play this game called Smash Run and I would hear the Tetris theme and I thought it was nice. Every time I heard it I would want to play Tetris,” she said.

All I did was play this game and kept thinking I want to play Tetris.

I think Tetris is so beautiful, he is about perfection and he stimulates your mind. Physically I get that feeling that people in relationships get – that you know they are the right one.

I want to make clear there is a big difference between fetishes and objectum sexual.

A fetish is sexual whereas objectum sexual is more romantic. You have actual feelings and feel like you emotionally connect with the objects, I’ve never been attracted to humans.

Before Tetris I was dating my calculator Pierre.

I loved touching his buttons – the feel of his buttons and track pad. I loved running my finger over that and I used my tongue to touch his buttons.

I liked generating random numbers and multiplying them.

It was very much an intellectual relationship as well. He’s a calculator – how could it not be?

I want to say I’m married to Tetris and have a legitimate ceremony with friends. I want everybody to be there. I feel like that would be an official thing which would set it in stone and say ‘I love you and want to prove it to you’ by making it permanent and calling myself Mrs Tetris.

I am not doing anyone or anything any harm. What is the issue? They think it’s weird but I ask them to give me one good reason why I shouldn’t date Tetris and they can’t.

I mean top of the list I would say that it’s completely and utterly weird/mental but I suppose this is an unfortunate medical condition and she’s right when she says she isn’t doing anyone any harm, so I suppose we should just let her get on with it. It’s kinda strange that she wants to draw attention to her weirdness by doing interviews and photoshoots about it though? Never get why these people want to do stuff like that.

For more weird people like this, check out 6 unbelievably weird stories about people that ended up living in shops. Nutcases.


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