Woman Gives Birth Outside Primark In Birmingham

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Just when you thought the streets of Birmingham couldn’t get any grimier, this happens. Birthing juices, umbilical cords and slimy placenta splattered all over the streets, and to top it all off this is all happening outside Primark.

Try not to have visions of this poor lady popping her kid out on the same street some bum probably pissed, shat and vomited on mere hours earlier, and instead appreciate the miracle of childbirth that occurred amidst all the trash and grime. Kind of like Bane from Batman being born into the darkness exactly it probably stank a lot worse.

Crowds gathered around the young woman going into labour yesterday afternoon, with Primark security and staff surrounding her with sheets and towels as she gave birth and sent the crowd into rapturous applause.

A tiny human being brought into this world on the streets outside Primark — beautiful and nauseating at the same time. Welcome to Earth young child! Let’s wrap this little baby up, take him/her to hospital, clean him/her the fuck up and just get everyone back home ASAP.

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