2) Martin Schweitzer

Martin Schweitzer, a commander with the Army’s legendary 82nd Airborne Division sent an email saying that he had masturbated “three times over the past two hours” after meeting a “smoking hot” congresswoman. Not the kind of sensible cool-headed man you want. Apparently he had been respectful and polite when he actually met the woman in question but his emotions had obviously got the better of him.

Here’s his half-arsed apology:

“My comments were a terrible attempt at humor. I didn’t mean them literally or figuratively, I simply meant them to try and be funny during a very tense period within the command to a limited audience. I know they were not appropriate. It was stupid”.

It’s just so infantile. And the apology is laughable, you’re in detention for the rest of the week sonny boy.