NOT THE NEWS, PHOTOS, RANDOM
Didn't get a Valentines date? Doesn't matter. In fact nothing does. You'll agree when you've seen this.
CHIRPSES, RANDOM, VIDEOS
An angry woman's colourful rant to God about the hot weather.
Time Is Money is a short story about life in the seedy underbelly of taxi-drivers. Are you going to think twice about what taxi you get into next.
The Chirpse checked out one of Tokyo's many cat cafes during some a recent expedition in Japan. It wasn't quite the amiable cuddle-fest we were expecting.
The faux-scandal of Paris Brown is an almost flawless blend of every type of stupidity known to man.
A documentary on Bill Watterson's much-loved duo will be out later this year, and that's all the excuse we need to big up one of the best comic strips ever created.
Everyone's favourite secrecy-shrouded religion and money-making machine needs some new recruits. Comedy ensues.
LIFE, RANDOM, VIDEOS
If you can find a more boring sports event than this, I will high five you until the cows come home and plough a field with their udders.
I know you're all completely overwhelmed by the shocking and groundbreaking news recently, fiscal cliffs and all, so let's lighten the mood with two old favourites rolled into one - space.
LIFE, NEWS, PHOTOS, RANDOM, VIDEOS
Krampus is Father Christmas' terrifying enforcer. You better have been good this year... I bet you haven't though, so look out.
Here's a couple of kitty videos for you. They both made me do a literal LOL, but in a way I think they might portray animal abuse? What's your views.
BEST NEW TUMBLR FIND, PHOTOS, RANDOM
There's something about a disproportionately small hand that is both disgusting and fascinating. Here's a Tumblr dedicated to the magic of a tiny hand.
If you think about it, the apocalypse of the Earth may not be a bad thing. Think about all the bullshit goings-on in the world today that wind us up like rioting chavs and crackheads raping.
LIFE, NEWS, RANDOM, VIDEOS
So there's this big eagle and it snatches a toddler in a park. Maybe it's a fake? Who gives a shit... maybe we're all computer simulations anyway.
Boring, dull, disappointing and unfunny aren't what I really wanted to be using to describe a comedy award ceremony. You've got a room full of comedians, Channel 4, it can't be that hard to.
So Milking was kinda funny last week, but porting is way way funnier and is a direct attempt by Newcastle's greatest rivals Durham to completely rinse them, so porting is actually really.
Will this new invention bring an end to the glorious old tea bag? Probably not but you technology freaks will bum the fvck out of this one.
On Friday some mental dude hopped up on top of the statue of the Duke of Cambridge in Whitehall and stripped bollock naked, and then he threw some joke poses.
This newscaster is made to look like an absolute n00b by the terrible touchscreen software he has to work with. Let's all point and laugh.
Arthur C Clarke was a sci-fi legend, he also loved unexplainable shizzle. Here's a video of interviews with 'normal' people about their paranormal encounters.
This is seriously the best underwear advert I've ever seen. You just have no idea where it's going or what's happening, but when it ends up there you're just like wow! .
I fvcking hate Christmas so this video of a guy dressed as Santa getting his beard stuck in a zip-line while abseiling is pure gold.
The Christmas gift you have been waiting all your life for is now actually here. It's a mug with Danny Dyer's face on it.
It must be tricky deciding on a name for your shop, but there are some names you can scrub off the list straight away. "Dog Shit" is one and "Hitler" is another.
It's hard to believe Vice UK is only 10 years old because it seems like Shoreditch has been a haven for hipsters a lot longer than that. They're throwing a pretty killer party with a killer.
It's probably your worst nightmare to have to hang out with homosexuals if you're a bigoted member of a Southern church, so that's exactly what Russell Brand makes these two idiots do. It's.
What do you think happened? Was he arrested and accused of paedophilia? Of course not, the pictures went viral everywhere and sales soared, it's the 21st century.
When you lose a US Presidential election, there's only one place you can turn for comfort: The Twilight Saga.
In the latest installment of culinary reviews Sick Chirpse goes a bit posh and takes on a restaurant one-up from a Wimpy.
Keira Knightley posed topless for Allure magazine this month. Unfortunately somebody photoshopped her right nipple out of the pictures.
it's really sad when celebrities split up, especially when they're only 18. It's also always really funny because you can go on twitter and laugh at what all the lameass superfans are.
It's always hard for celebrities to date in full view of the world and the paparazzi. It's probably even harder when you're a 42 year old man dating a 26 year old girl and you look like you.