Suck it Dry January.
Who would have thought?
The attack featured 'significant violence' and left her with 'several injuries'.
It was inevitable.
Ramping up the fear factor.
Sippin' on gin and juice.
Good one mate.
Finally a good reason to be born in January.
It's the only way to get through it.
No more taking your work home with you.
In this crazy year, anything could happen.
One of the greatest movies of all time hits the big screen again.
January 27th 2017 can't come soon enough.
People are turning to the black market for avocados.
Dan Bilzerian's life + zombies basically.
What a way to go.
There's really no coming back from this.
Finally, people are safe to sleep on their stomachs again.
Great news for everyone who loves a greasy spoon.
Party membership has severely declined since the last election.
Prepare to witness some absolute screamers.
It's orbiting a star in the Milky Way.
The only truly badass response really.
If you're looking for love, get online tonight.
All people really need to do to know that the legalisation of marijuana is a good idea is check out these statistics....
It's always the last place you look. Oh yeah, and of course this happened in Las Vegas.