The best way to clear your conscience before the weekend is to admit what you did by e-mailing your Confessions into [email protected] (our submissions box is fucked atm but don’t worry, it’s completely anonymous) – every Friday we’ll be posting the best ones.

Here are the best from this week:

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sgraham

I always date my uni papers a few days earlier so the tutor doesn’t think I do everything last minute

ochimus

My 14 year old brother is cooler than I am

swans_are_gay

Someone in the cubicle next to me at work did a louder piss than me and it made me feel like less of a man

zangief

I’ve been wanking while sitting on the toilet for so long that every time I take a shit now I automatically get a boner

newtothesite

I have a split second panic attack every time I sneeze while driving

macmang23

I resent my dad for making me grow up a Nottingham Forest fan

mytimesup

I don’t enjoy eating pussy and it’s really messing with my relationship prospects

reid83

The way the football plays out sometimes I honestly think god just doesn’t want me to make any money

nasty dasty

I came inside a 5/10 last weekend. Been worried sick to my stomach all week about possibly getting her pregnant. She says she took the pill but I don’t know. Pray for me please

Natures Miracle

I’m currently lying in bed binging on weed and playing stupid amounts of fifa cause i got hit by a car the other day, my ex just came round and i’m not sure how to feel, her blow job game has gone from a teethy, dry painful experience to a literal jizz explosion within 30 seconds and it’s since she’s been seeing a new guy… Can’t help but feel he’s just gay and been giving her tips

slycooky

My dad called my boyfriend a “liberal fuckboy” the other day

DJC

Some kids on my street were kicking over bins and generally being nuisances, so I called the police who came down and got them to clear off. If that makes me a snitch, I don’t give a fuck

5doublem

My iphone is bigger than my erect dick

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Well done guys and gals – you’ve done us proud. Well, maybe not proud. But thanks for submitting and if your confession didn’t feature, don’t sweat it – just submit a better one next time.

Get involved and submit your confession(s) for next week by e-mailing [email protected] (submissions box is fucked atm but don’t worry – it’s 100% anonymous. Also make sure you include a username you want in your message) – see you next Friday.