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Apologies for their not being a Week 9 update, not that anyone would’ve actually noticed, I went off the radar for a week. Problem with that is that I have now left Steven Pienaar in my team despite him being suspended for the past 2 weeks – what a genuine moron. Anyway back to the more important things – who were the big scorers of the week in the Sick Chirpse League. High score of the week goes to no other than now 12th placed Johnny Callow’s Room 362 with a not so whopping score of 46. Other big news is that Shane Tremlin’s Trem’s Trash have managed to sneak their way into the top 5 and in turn force out early front runners Prince Boatengs. Here’s how the Prem games fared up on the weekend:

• Man Utd 2 – 1 Arsenal
• Fulham 2 – 2 Everton
• Norwich 1 – 0 Stoke
• Sunderland 0 – 1 Aston Villa
• Swansea 1 – 1 Chelsea
• Tottenham 0 – 1 Wigan
• QPR 1 – 1 Reading
• Liverpool 1 – 1 Newcastle
• West Brom 2 – 0 Southampton

BIG HITTERS:

To quote the Evertonian faithful, “Marouane Fellaini, you are the love of my life. Marouane Fellaini, i’ll let you shag my wife. Marouane Fellaini”, I want curly hair too…”  That may not seem relevant and you might not let him shag your wife but stick him in your fantasy football team and you’ll be singing this too within a week. Fellaini notched up two goals and a total of 12 points from the tough away trip at Craven Cottage but couldn’t do enough to secure the win as he missed an easy chance for his hat-trick. Although when he’s down as a 3.8 million midfielder and is the 6ft4 spearhead of the Everton attack you’d be silly not to snap him up.

Peter Odemwingie. Wow. Known as Peter The Great and harder to find on google than a picture of Paris Hilton without a cock in her mouth. If you can spell Odemwingie on the first time of trying you are a better man than me. He had a hell of a game Monday night at home to the Saints and further dented Neil Adkins chances of keeping the Saints afloat. He banged in two great goals and took home a cheeky 12 points to boot and with a trip away at Wigan as the Baggies next game he might even keep this hot streak going.

BIG SHITTERS:

I remember when I made a fantasy football team last season and stuck Abel Tarabbt in my team based on the fact that I thought Rangers had cracked some kind of code that could turn footballers into Gods – I thought he was gonna be my secret weapon and turn the league alight. I kept him in for 11 weeks and he didn’t score once. Bottom line is – he was a shit house. This season many people have made the same mistake with the industrious Park Ji Sung, the incredulous Bobby Zamora and the ugliest right back in  the world Jose Bosingwa – however – none of these have set the Prem alight.  It really isn’t their fault though.

It is the fault of the man that should be one of the best managers in the Premiership but would be more at home trying to pry Barnet off the bottom of the football league as that’s about all he’s capable of. The reason he hasn’t made the BIG SHITTERS portion of things before is because I keep wanting old Sparky to magic his way out of his shower of shit managerial mediocrity but he’s unable to do it. When you can’t beat a Reading team who haven’t won a game all season when you are on your home patch you need a serious talking to – not to mention a Reading team who had played 120 minutes of football days earlier and had let in 7 on their own patch. Take a long hard look at yourself Hughesy – and if you’ve still got QPR players in your team please do the same as you are clearly a dick.

This weekend the Premiership is looking like this:

Saturday:

• Arsenal v Fulham
• Aston Villa v Manchester United
• Everton v Sunderland
• Reading v Norwich City
• Southampton v Swansea City
• Stoke City v Queens Park Rangers
• Wigan Athletic v West Bromwich Albion

Sunday:

• Manchester City v Tottenham Hotspur
• Newcastle United v West Ham United
• Chelsea v Liverpool

Predictions this week are Arsenal to pull down the pants of their London rivals and Walcott to finally get rewarded with a start. Villa will get smashed by Utd with the RVP show taking full credit – maybe Rooney will even score a pen. Everton to take the spring out of Martin O’Neill’s step with a consumate home victory courtesy of Fellaini. Reading to finally win a game against a lacklustre Canaries outfit. Southampton to get a swift lesson from Michu and the boys at Swansea. Stoke to anti-football their way past QPR and finally get Mark Hughes sacked. West Brom to do a job away at Wigan but be held to a draw. Man City to come out fighting against a poor travelling Spurs as AVB refuses to play more than one striker against the Man City back line. Newcastle to fold up West Ham and put them in their pocket as Chelsea dispatch an average Liverpool team into further midtable mediocrity.

Here’s the league:

Return to league page

Saturday 10th November 2012

Sunday 11th November 2012