Sex Crazed Spiders The Size Of Mice Are About To Invade The UK

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Sex crazed spiders, some the size of mice, are set to invade the homes of many UK residents in the upcoming months.

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Last spider season, loads of people were sending out pictures of giant house spiders they had found in their livings rooms, some of them up to 12cm long. And a top spider expert has said that this year will see even more of these terrifying eight-legged freaks infiltrating the homes of UK residents.

Steve McGrail, from Pro-Kill Environmental in Middleton, said that while there are not more spiders in September, this is the period when they come out of their hiding places to have sex: 

The male spiders come out the woodwork during this time of year as it is breeding season and they are searching for female spiders.

They are actually there in the home at other times of year but they are hidden away – under the floor, in the attic, in the basement. If you find them, it’s pretty much impossible to rid your house of them.

They may disappear for a period of time, but other spiders will come in their place. The best thing to do if you find them is put them in a shed – it’s a case of out of sight, out of mind. If you put them outside they are likely to die.

And apparently the type of giant house spider that we have been seeing a lot of over the past couple of years have a bad bite that can even penetrate human skin. Just the news we need.

I’ve got to say, I’m pretty glad that I live down south right about now, because apparently it’s the north-west that’s being hit pretty bad. Just look at these fuckers found in homes in Manchester:

House spider

house spider

Fuck that. So now that summer’s over, not only do we have these bastards to watch out for, but also flesh-eating cannibal spiders.

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