Oh wow. This is good. This is REALLY good. This has made my day, my week, quite possibly my year.
The video you’re about to watch is (mark my words) the death of Microsoft Windows. Now let’s look at Windows for a second. Bill Gates and his crew used to run tings around here, they used to monopolise this shit. When you bought a P.C. back in’t day, you bought it with Microsoft Windows, standard. There was no alternative. OK Apple was around but no-one really used it, everyone had a P.C. and everyone had Windows. Now times have changed and it’s completely flip reversed. When you go out to buy a new computer or laptop now-a-days, you buy an Apple Mac, standard. That’s just how it is. The same goes for phones. Nokia used to rule the roost when it came to phones but they’ve since died a death. iPhones, iPads and iMacs are selling millions of units every week, and for one good reason, because they work. Because they do what they’re meant to do. Because they’re aesthetically pleasing and don’t fuck up all the time. In fact they hardly fuck up at all. This is something that Microsoft Windows never really got the hang of. Do you remember the dreaded blue screen of death?
It still makes me shudder.
Microsoft Windows had a reputation of fucking up. You were forever formatting your HD and doing a fresh install just so you could boot up in less than 10 minutes and load a few applications at once. Windows’ machines were a haven for shitty trojans and worms that Macs just don’t give one fuck about.
So after a few years of falling behind and losing the top spot in the computer market you’d have thought that Microsoft would do something about it. They tried. They released the Windows phone, which was a complete flop (how many people do you know with a Windows phone? Exactly). They tried to compete with the iPhone and fucked it up. So what next? They try and compete with the iPad, but of course…
Cue Microsoft Windows Surface Tablet, the ‘iPad Killer’ – as Microsoft like to call it. This piece of kit is meant to blow the iPad out the water and cost less than half the price. Maybe it stood a chance at doing this, if, if, IF IT FUCKING WORKED!! HOW CAN YOU FUCK THIS ONE UP SO BAD MICROSOFT?! HOW?! WHEN YOU DO A PRESENTATION ABOUT HOW GOOD SOMETHING IS YOU MAKE SURE IT WORKS! I really hope Microsoft just fucks off after this and makes way for a competitor who can actually give Apple a run for their money and produce something worth shouting home about.
So here it is, the video you’ve all been waiting for. The global presentation for Microsoft’s iPad Killer. Enjoy.