Did any of you guys hear a weird moaning noise on the 28th of July? If you did I’m going to take a wild guess as to what it was. You see on the 28th of July Suidobashi Heavy Industry…wait for it, a Japanese company, released some videos of their new project Kuratas on YouTube. It kicked up quite a shit-storm, so allow me to briefly explain the hysteria. Kuratas is a fully functioning MechWarrior that anyone, Average Joe or Barack Obama, can buy and own. Kuratas is also tailor made to the buyers desire, and you can even get it finished in a clandestine camouflage; so if you did happen to hear any weird moaning noises on the 28th of July, I’m going to take a stab in the dark and guess that it was the collective wet-dreaming joy of millions of fan-boys.
I’ve been giving Asia a bit of shit recently; mainly due to their love of eating animals and seafood while still alive, but you can’t deny that Japan is the creator of some pretty cool shit; especially on the internet. Thanks to the land of the Rising Sun we are blessed with heaps of weird videos and bizarre porn involving vomit and tentacles, we enjoy eating sushi for our lunches, and who hasn’t ever got stoned while playing Super Mario? Japan is everyone’s favourite fucked up country, we love the cool and weird shit they churn out at a disturbingly efficient rate; and their latest export, Kuratas, doesn’t fail to deliver.
So everything sounds perfect right? Everything is dandy now you know you can harness the power of your own MechWarrior and fuck with all those people who make your life a living hell? Well, I have one final piece of information that may cause some upset. The problem here is that MechWarriors don’t come cheap, not one bit, and if you do fancy owning your own Kuratas you’re going to have to fork out about $1,353,500. Shit news for you and me, but when Sick Chirpse finally makes enough money this is the first thing we’ll be buying, we’re going to be taking this straight down to East-London, and we’re going to terrify some fucking hipsters.
Below are two of the company’s official release videos, and the Kuratas test pilot is a really hot Japanese chick who has been getting as much attention online as the Mechwarrior itself. Enjoy.
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