Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. Or Twitter is just really really stupid. This is probably one of those times where it’s a little bit of both.
If you know anything about football or even if you don’t, you probably heard yesterday that during the Liverpool V Chelsea match Luis Suarez – who is obviously no stranger to controversy – got even deeper into the shit by biting the Chelsea player Branislav Ivanovic as they tussled in the box for the ball.
It didn’t even seem like it was that big a deal for Suarez to react like that – it just looked like they were tussling in the box which surely isn’t anything different to what Suarez must face every week? Why the hell would he suddenly react so badly to this and bite the guy? Who the hell bites anyone anyway? In case you have somehow managed to miss this, there’s a video of it below. If it gets deleted later then I apologise, but it shouldn’t be that hard to find it with a quick Google search.
Anyway, obviously the whole world is up in arms about this and I guess they should be because I mean it is 100% outrageous to bite someone, especially in the middle of a football match? I mean who has ever done that before? Oh yeah that’s right Luis Suarez did it when he was playing for Ajax a few years ago and bit PSV midfielder Otman Bakkal and got banned for seven matches for it. I normally stick up for Luis Suarez when everyone calls him a dickhead (I would handball it on the line if it meant England had a chance to get to a World Cup semifinal and I think the whole racism thing with Evra was blown out of all proportion) but I can’t really stick up for him on this one. Except maybe to say he’s a sick player and Mario Balotelli does way worse stuff than him but for some reason everyone loves him (he’s in Time magazine’s list of the world’s most influential people don’t ya know?) and everyone hates Luis Suarez. I guess it’s just the way they both look or something.
Anyway, this article isn’t about defending Luis Suarez or even debating the issue – there isn’t really a debate, he bit Ivanovic and he’s going to get a really big ban for it – but about some of the LOLZ that happened immediately following it when Mike Tyson – and yes, his account is verified – started following Luis Suarez on Twitter. Mike Tyson isn’t even following that many people – only 400 – and the fact that he started following Suarez pretty much a couple of hours after the match on Sunday is either plain weird or really funny. Probably a bit of both.
Or maybe he was hoping Suarez would follow him back so they could DM each other some tips on how best to bite people. I mean Suarez could probably do with some advice from the master considering he didn’t even rip any of Ivanovic’s flesh off. To be honest I’m surprised Mike is even giving him the time of day, but I guess the field of celebrity biters is pretty slim so he’s gotta play the hand he’s been dealt and try and befriend Suarez because he doesn’t really have any other options. Bummer.
Here’s evidence of it below, I also threw some extra photoshops of Luis Suarez that I found on Twitter that are kinda funny but not really when you compare them to the fact that Mike Tyson is following Luis Suarez on Twitter now. I mean honestly, what a dumb sentence.
â˜› More Biting: