CHIRPSES

The Origin Of Lord Buckethead: The True Winner Of The General Election

Lord Buckethead

Breakout star.

This year’s General Election was eventful to say the least. Aside from the competition between the key parties, there were several breakout stars who battled it out to demonstrate the true meaning of democracy in the UK.

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The candidate who stood out the most was Lord Buckethead. Looking like something straight out of Star Wars, this tall, dark figure stood in Theresa May’s constituency, and he quickly became a viral sensation thanks to his striking look and outrageous policies. Here’s his 2017 manifesto:

buckethead theresa may

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  1. The abolition of the Lords (except me).
  2. Full facial coverings to be kept legal, especially bucket-related headgear.
  3. No third runway to be built at Heathrow: where we’re going we don’t need runways.
  4. Ceefax to be brought back immediately, with The Oracle and other Teletext services to be rolled out by the next Parliament.
  5. Regeneration of Nicholson’s Shopping Centre, Maidenhead.
  6. Buckethead on Brexit: a referendum should be held about whether there should be a second referendum.
  7. Nuclear weapons: A firm public commitment to build the £100bn renewal of the Trident weapons system, followed by an equally firm private commitment not to build it. They’re secret submarines, no one will ever know. It’s a win win.
  8. Nationalisation of Adele: in order to maximise the efficient use of UK resources, the time is right for great British assets to be brought into public ownership for the common good. This is to be achieved through capital spending.
  9. A moratorium until 2022 on whether Birmingham should be converted into a star base.
  10. Legalisation of the hunting of fox-hunters.
  11. New voting age limit of 16 to be introduced. New voting age limit of 80 to be introduced too.
  12. Katie Hopkins to be banished to the Phantom Zone.
  13. Stop selling arms to Saudi Arabia. Start buying lasers from Lord Buckethead.
  14. Prospective MPs to live in the seat they wish to represent for at least five years before election, to improve local representation in Parliament.
  15. Free bikes for everyone, to help combat obesity, traffic congestion and bike theft.

Amazing – I’m really into the Katie Hopkins rule and the idea to stop selling arms to Saudi Arabia and to start buying lasers from Lord Buckethead instead.

This isn’t the first time this guy has made a stir in the political world – he also stood against Margaret Thatcher in 1987 and John Major in 1992. But just where did he come from?

His origins are rather interesting – this character was actually the villain of a low-budget 1984 sci-fi comedy called ‘Gremlins’ or sometimes also known as ‘Gremloids’.

You can tell from that shoddy front cover that it’s some sort of Star Wars parody.

I’m not entirely sure why Lord Buckethead chose to take on this character – maybe it’s because no one would have seen the film, or maybe it’s because the character in the film chases two humans who he thinks are his enemies, which could be a metaphor for his attempt to stand against Tory leaders in the election. Either way, he’s going to be remembered as one of the high points of an otherwise shitshow of an election. Hats (or should I say, buckets) off to you Lord Buckethead.

For more breakout stars of the general election, check out Mr. Fish Finger.


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