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Kraftwerk’s Leaked ‘Transport Rider’ Is As Weird As It Is Awesome

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Autobahn.

Kraftwerk are the ultimate Godfathers of German techno and being the futuristic fellas that they are, you’d imagine that they would drive in style.

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If this recently leaked document is anything to go by, then that statement would be correct. Album label Frozen Reeds posted what they claim to be a picture of Kraftwerk’s “transport rider” from 2013, which lays out the band’s expectations of their transport and transport driver. And let’s just say, it’s very Kraftwerk:

Notice the little adaptations in language use there, like “tainted windows” instead of “tinted windows”. Also, I love how they start the document with an explanation as to why they’re so strict with their driver:

Because of rather bad driving experiences in the recent past.

So vague and yet so eloquent.

I mean, as is often the case with stories like this, you’ve got to take it with a pinch of salt. Is this really Kraftwerk’s transport rider? Probably not, but if there ever were such a thing, then this is almost definitely how the boys of Kraftwerk would word it.

For more on Kraftwerk, here’s how to play ‘Pocket Calculator’ on a pocket calculator.


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