Ketamine User Tells Shocking Story Of His Six Year Addiction
Ketamine can be an insidious drug when used recreationally. While it is not physically addictive, the tranquilising effects make it an ideal substance for escapism, causing many users to become mentally dependent.
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As a result, ket has been dubbed the “modern day heroin” due to the way it entraps its users. One Reddit user who knows this more than anyone decided to share the story of his six year addiction to ketamine, as well as how he “cured” himself whilst in a K-hole. It’s probably one of the most extreme and harrowing accounts of ket addiction I’ve ever read – hats off to him for sharing the story. Here goes:
This is a story about the affair i once had with Ketamine. Please take into consideration that english is not my native language and i may make some grammar mistakes.
I started using it when i was 16..it was a joke back then. Ketamine was really abundant where i’m from (eastern europe) and it was really really cheap (like 15$ per 20ml bottle with 10% ketamine). The bottles were made of glass and the tap was red (those commonly found at least).
We were a group of about 10 guys and a few girls with ages between 13 and 20 (yes, i know, 13 is kinda young). We really liked to smoke weed. As the eastern european drug market was flooded mostly with heroin, weed was really really hard to find (nowadays everybody smokes).
We used to hang around in front of a friend’s apartment building because it was common ground for all of us, we did not want to hang around our homes to not be seen by parents and neighbors.
The weed game was harsh, few dealers, expensive product, far away (in the other parts of town), and the quantity was like 0.7g for 15$.
Whenever we couldn’t get weed, we sniffed Ketamine. We had a connect that went to a veterinary school or was a veterinarian (don’t really know as the connect was not mine personally, it was a guy from our group who had the “entrance”). At first, me and a few from the group did not like the Ketamine, we just sniffed it because we were used to get high on something. We considered it to be crap drugs. I remember not liking the taste of it at all, it made me vomit a couple of times but i still sniffed it every single time i had the chance. It was all fun and games when we mixed it up with weed and we had so many trips (even a mutual trip – all of us with recollections of the same trip). Whenever we did not mix it with weed it was weird and robotic. These are stories and trip reports for some other time (maybe).
Each of us had it’s own history of drug abuse, it was either heroin or alcohol. The older guys were into injectable heroin and the younger guys were mostly into alcohol but all of them tried heroin at least once by smoking it in cigarettes (we used to get the tabacco out of the cigarette without breaking it, replacing the filter with a cartboard one and putting the tabacco back in mixed with heroin). I personally did not like it, smoked a couple of times but couldn’t see the fun in it. I liked alcohol and weed (whenever I could smoke some).
The older friends took care of the younger friends so they will not start iv’ing heroin or going more into the habit. They smoked with us a couple of times just out of friendship but that’s it. This all happened a year before the ketamine movie started.
We hanged on a bench outside of the appartment building i was talking about everyday. We used to meed after lunch (sometimes even earlier) and we hanged until the sun came up sometimes. Eastern Europe is generally poor so we had to meet everyday to figure out ways of getting money to buy drugs. We all had pocket change from our parents to buy a soda or a sandwich (maybe twice a week) but that’s about it. This does not count the birthdays, there was plenty of money on birthdays (imagine that when i say plenty of money i refer to maximum 100$). The group was split in two sides. The ones who did not do injectable H and the ones who did. All of them quit the heroin in the meantime (except for one who still does it to this day) and switched to the other group that became a poly-drug group (excluding heroin). We all hustled for money, trying to get connects of whatever was of interest to us, trying to get people to come to us to buy so we could act like middlemen (we always took half of what they were buying, the times were tough so this was the group rule: HALF). It was not easy. But it was not hard either. At the end of the day we always had at least a couple of grams of Ketamine to sniff.
Days, months passed and we were more and more into the game, we all had public phone cards and little books with phone-numbers of dealers and consumers. It was a small-time business that supported our habits. We did ketamine every single night. Some did it, some did not. I never refused a line.
Now i will get into my thing because i can’t speak for everybody in the group, they all had their thing.
I did not even realize when i started to like it. It grew on me and filled all the holes that i had, or so it seemed. I did not consider to have a good relationship with my parents (they split when i was young) and considered myself to be alone (even if i lived with my awesome grandmother who i did not appreciate until after she died). Ketamine was filling up all these holes and even got to decreasing my general interest in girls and before this i remember being into girls like a normal teenager.
I really liked the K-hole, I would snort 2-3 long and fat lines (tolerance was to the roof) alone in my room, at my computer, staring at the screen and listening to a casette tape of Chemical Brothers (The Dust Brothers – Exit Planet Dust). This was my Ketamine casette, ALWAYS listened to it. I would get into these amazing trips where the existence around me transformed and i was in another place with people i don’t know. They were always having conversations but i couldn’t speak to them, i never spoke to anybody in my trips.
This went on for …i don’t really know how long because it’s all foggy. The trips were getting more and more intense, the dosages were getting higher and without even realizing, i switched to IM. I remember injecting 1 ml and sniffing 2-3 lines and, at the peak of my consumption, injected 2 ml (one in each arm) and sniffed 2 lines as big as the DVD cases. This while being inside my room, alone, most of the times. I had people over but couldn’t all the time because my grandmother was old and sick and she wouldn’t allow it. The life that I had was getting worse. I was never good in school, couldn’t stay focused, the topics bored me to death. Not that i can’t learn, i never had trouble in english (only class i really liked), it’s just that i found it mostly pointless. For example i only learned mathemathics until second grade ecuations, the ones with delta and b squared (don’t know if i’m translating it correctly). My grades were always bad and you can say out of luck, my grandmother had connections to both elementary school and high school so i never got kicked out. I always flunked but never repeated a year. This while going to school high on ketamine, me and the guy sitting next to me in class did it in class while the teachers were doing their thing. I used to cut classes each year, totaling about 600-700 classes cut per year (connect saved me from being expelled) and going into a specific internet cafe’ and playing diablo 2 and doing drugs with the other guys from the internet cafe.
This went on for all the highschool period and by the time i finished it, i did mostly every drug i could find, and some were really hard to find but ketamine was my lover, my friend and my family. My REAL family soon found out about my drug use because i became sloppy, i had an impressive ketamine bottle collection different in every way, some had green tap, some blue, some were 10 ml some 20 ml etc. I didn’t hide my drug use from then on, i became more and more hooked on the thing. I remember that i realised that i was hooked when i bought 20 bottles to sell and sold only half a bottle to a friend for some pocket change (couldn’t face up to being a dealer and consumed it all myself).
Everything was so so bad around me, family fights, getting kicked out from home from time to time, no girl that i could really love (i had flings here and there but nothing serious).
All this into consideration, one day, a guy from the group calls me to meet up URGENTLY. When we met he told me that he has 1kg of indian ketamine from a guy that went to jail for 20 years and he doesn’t want it back or the money from it.
I was like…shit… and we sniffed it all in a winter…i know it sounds fantasty-ish but this really happened. We used to mix it with distilled water and shoot it up then sniff then shoot then sniff AND SO ON. Not just the two of us, everyone in the group. I don’t know what happened that winter, i have almost no recollection of it, maybe some pictures.. but not sequences or scenes.
The winter has ended and my grandmother died in that summer. It wasn’t a wake up call for me, i just plunged in all the drugs i could find, Ketamine being the first favorite. By that time the ketamine prices started going up and arrived to about 50$ per bottle and the bottle was heavily cut (out of 20 ml, only 15-16 were in it, the rest was added water, sometimes tap water). The connect we used to have stopped dealing and we had to resort to other dealers. All that shit i put inside my muscles. Sniffed ketamine was a thing of the past now, i only im’ed.
Needless to say, the first ketamine death occured. A girl i did not know but some from the group did choked and died while on ketamine. She died with everybody else in the room was in a K-hole…imagine that, may she rest in peace.. Everybody was shocked by this but they kept on justifying that she was a hardcore user that used A LOT. Looking back now, looking at who said this ..young humans who were as hardcore as she was, nobody admitted they were scared. Everybody was terrified.
I kept on going and going and going and every time i got into a K-hole i got into the same place…every time it was the same place. I either exited my room through the top corner, or slowly being moved into that place going slowly down with walls changing around me. My dosage was 1 ml injectable and 2 lines (dosages were about 80 mg per line, i grew up and got informed about mg dosages, had no clue before that how much mg i am actually sniffing).
So anyway, i was always in the same place, it was a fairly large square room, about 5 m in height with 7 m in lenght (approximate size) and the walls were brown-ish. There were different entities in that room and for the first time in my k-holes, i could communicate with them. I did not remember anything when i came back to reality, even tried to take notes (scribbled drawings of nothing) or record myself (mumbles and shouts)…nothing. I couldn’t get anything out. This frustrated me really really bad but somehow i knew i couldn’t tell anyone about this. I knew in a very weird way that if i told anyone, i couldn’t go there anymore and it happened, IT FUCKING HAPPENED. I told a girl i was seeing that i nicknamed Satan due to her devious and devilish behavior and i couldn’t get back into the brown room. I was ripped apart, i couldn’t get back inside no matter how much ketamine i was doing, i thought i was going crazy.
That is when i stopped. I did not sniff ketamine anymore, did not see the point of it anymore, to this day i don’t see the point of it. I sniffed some recently and still can’t get there, i think it is some mental block i somehow made, not allowing me to go back into that miserable k-hole addict life. For those who are wondering, it was only a mental addiction and i’m really glad i got out of it safely. Now i’m 28, I have an amazing girlfriend, i am pursuing a career in music and own a couple of dogs and some cats that get along great.
Wish all you guys well, hope some of you will consider before making the same mistakes i did and if you have any question i will answer them to some extent.
Told you it was harrowing. While I’ve heard of cases where users ruin their bladders and have to wear catheter bags, I’ve never before heard of ketamine related deaths. It’s great to hear that he managed to come out at the other end and “cure” himself, but some people aren’t so lucky. If you feel like you’re descending into ketamine addiction then it might be time to speak to someone or seek help – before it’s too late.