Anyone remember this gem of a stoner series circa 2004? Like all things good, there wasn’t enough of it, with only one series made consisting of six mind boggling episodes. I Am Not An Animal follows the story of six highly intelligent animals, Phillip Masterson-Bowie (Steve Coogan) the wise old horse, Winona Matthews the pit bull who is in love with the actor Tim Robbins, Hugh Gape the sexually over-active Scottish monkey, Claire Franchetti (Julia Davis) the slutty eight-boobed rat, Glen Belt the fame hungry sparrow who won’t admit he’s a bird and Kieron (Simon Pegg) the evil cat are a part of an experiment designed to create talking animals, the result being pets who can say ‘I love you’ to their owners. Daww.
The scientists at Vivi-Sec UK gave these animals a sophisticated lifestyle in order to develop their intellect, which sees them living in a computer-operated house with a screen saver for a window and a door marked ‘London’, where they dream of going to dance at nightclubs with Ralph Fiennes, cocaine baguettes, eating honey glazed goats cheese and ‘falling in love with a boyfriend who hits you and then cries and says he won’t do it again but he does and you have to go to a safe house’.
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With Angela Anaconda-esque animation, a cat’s head on a gorilla with a shotgun, rabbit rape, Nile the Irish computer network help rabbit, steak eating cows, rat phone sex, meat Oscars and a monkey that masturbates to the Queen’s face on a five pound note, I Am Not An Animal is a cheerfully sick comedy about animal testing, perfect for a wake, bake and watch.
Mind fucked yet? Wait ’til the only talking animals in the world are set free from their cosy computerized apartment and into the wild. Roll yourself a fatty, watch it all go tits up and prepare yourself for a trip to the bad place.
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