You may have heard of the Howard Stern show — it’s a popular no-holds-barred radio station in the States where they do things like hold competitions called ‘I Want To Get My Grandpa Laid’.
86-year-old Johnny Orris had appeared on the show back in October with his grandson, who had entered him into the contest to have some fun times with two girls from the legendary Bunny Ranch in Nevada. Orris’ wife had died over a decade ago and he hadn’t had sex since (though he said he often fantasised about big breasted black women).
Orris ended up winning the competition, and thusly flew to Lake Tahoe with his grandson to claim his prize.
Sadly, as the two of them sat at a restaurant literally minutes before they were scheduled to meet the prostitutes, Orris began choking on his steak… and died.
“He just wanted a steak before having sex with Caressa Kisses and Vanity”, said his grandson, who ended up having sex with one of the hookers in his granddad’s honour.
Completely gutted for the guy. Poor granddad was minutes away from what might’ve been the finest moment of his OAP years, getting his wrinkly willy wet for the first time in a decade, only to mis-swallow a piece of steak and kick the bucket literally moments before. What an absolute bastard Death is. You took him too soon Death! You took him too soon.
RIP Johnny Orris — may you be serviced by the angel-winged prostitutes in the sky.
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