This is just what you want to wake up to on a Saturday morning, trust me.
I’m sure the majority of you engaged in some kind of fun activities last night. This may have involved drinking several pints of fine English lager, or even pushing the boat out and ingesting some crap English narcotics, or maybe you just had a chilled one and got really stoned with your buddies and ate a load of shitty naan bread pizza from the local curry house who for some reason also do pizzas. Either way, your ass is going to be having a bad time this morning, that’s just the price you pay for having fun (no homo).
So, when you’re perched on your throne this morning and reading Sick Chirpse while you ‘shit’n'surf’ (like our friend above), spare a thought for what creepies may be lurking below. There have been cases of wild snakes appearing in toilets (less so in Britain, but it has happened), so always make sure you check right under the rim before you perch your cold ass down on that seat. Another one to watch out for are RATS, which are a lot more common in the UK. Here’s a video showing just how easily a filthy AIDS infested rat could reach your gooch. Enjoy, and have a nice morning shit.