For some reason unknown to anyone with a brain, Coolio has decided to sign a long term deal with Pornhub to release all of his future new music and music videos through the site exclusively. I guess it beats meeting uni students and rapping Gangsta’s Paradise with them in their houses.

He’s started this by recently shooting a video for a track fitting entitled ‘Take it to the Hub’. The video is said to feature tweaking dinosaurs and Coolio hosing down some porn stars in the garden of the driveway of a house in the suburbs. He’s going to follow this up with an album that will be released next year through Pornhub.

This follows on from the single he released last year called ‘Get Rich’ which is clearly what will be happening to Coolio as a result of this deal with Pornhub. I’m sure all of the Coolio fans out there who are interested in his new material will have no choice but to get that Pornhub subscription in order to hear his new beats.

I’m sure Pornhub are laughing all the way to the bank too, because with Coolio on board they’re destined to go from strength to strength due to enormity of Coolio’s fan base and their forced subscriptions in order to hear his music. Some might say it’s unfair, but when Coolio is releasing tracks of the calibre he’s sure to release, I don’t think it’s fair that we obtain them any other way than by buying an extortionate Pornhub subscription. The power and the money yo.

In short, everyone is a winner in this deal – except one group of people. The underage Coolio fans. They’re not exactly going to be able to get a Pornhub subscription are they? God, for once won’t somebody think of the children?