A Chinese investigative journalism TV Show called Xi’an Up Close (I guess the Chinese equivalent of McIntyre Uncovered or something) has become a laughing stock all over the world after they presented a report that confused a rubber vagina/anus combo for a a rare special mushroom or something like that. Turns out some villagers in Liucunbu village, which is on the outskirts of the capital of the Shaanxi province, were digging a well and when they hit 80m deep they found the rubber vagina/anus combo. These guys were so backwards that they had no idea what it was and decided to report it their local tv station because they were really perturbed by its discovery and thought they could be sitting on some kind of goldmine. Or at least 30 seconds of fame or whatever. Off went intrepid young reporter Ye Yunfeng to discover what it was – coming to the conclusion that it was a very rare type of mushroom from the lingzhi family known as a taisui, which is only found buried really deep underground.
This is a fairly plausible explanation for the discovery sure. That is if it wasn’t quite clearly a masturbation aid for the dudes of the village. It’s kind of weird that somebody would bury it 80m underground though huh? Guess they really didn’t wanna get caught by their wife for wanking. About 100% of people who were watching the show immediately recognised that it was a masturbation tool and emailed in to tell them, whilst the smart ones out there uploaded the video onto YouTube and became millionaires as it went completely viral. The TV Station offered the following explanation by means of an apology:
‘An open letter to all netizens and viewers: Hi everyone, one of our news reports which aired last night has made everyone laugh. This incident has been widely followed, shared and commented on. As our reporter was still very young and unwise to the ways of the world, this report has brought great inconvenience to everyone. We’d like to take this opportunity to thank everyone from the bottom of our hearts for your criticism and correction. Please forgive our oversight!’
This is interesting – is a netizen a citizen of the internet!?!?
Anyway, the report itself is pretty hilarious and you can watch it below. The best thing about it is some of the commentary. I hope it’s translated correctly and not just someone having a laugh like Sick Chirpse did on this David Guetta video a while back for LOLZ (that is really funny actually so click the link if you missed it) because some of the lines are classic and there are SO MANY jokes you can make about them:
‘Even our 80 year old neighbour has never seen anything like this before’ – yeah no shit, they weren’t making thee badboys in China 50 years ago.
‘It has a nose, and mouth’ – It’s also got lips too buddy!
‘When the Emperor Qin Shi Huang was on the hunt for the secret to longevity, it is said he discovered this lingzhi was the answer.’ I always knew masturbating was good for something, no matter what everyone told me.
‘The object looks very shiny, and it feels really fleshy and meaty too.’ – good to know it was a high quality sex toy.
‘As it’s the weekend the discoverer says he will keep the object with him in his house until Monday when he will get it looked at by a biology specialist’ – geez, this guy knew what he was doing. He’s gonna have a fucking great weekend locked up with his new sex toy. That biologist had better watch out for some new stains/excess fluid on it.
Check out the video below: