CHIRPSES Archives

MANCHESTER AFTER THE APOCALYPSE

CHIRPSES / By MF Jones

Here’s to Manchester as a human devoid wasteland where the buildings have been left to decay.

WOMAN IMPRISONED ON SCIENTOLOGY CRUISE SHIP FOR 12 YEARS

CHIRPSES / By Jerkstore

Who doesnâ€™t like cruises? Who wouldnâ€™t want to be imprisoned on a cruise ship for twelve years?

MOBILE HOMELESS SHELTER

CHIRPSES / By MF Jones

Paul Welkins just loves building stuff. Here’s some photos of Paul’s ‘Mobile Homeless Shelter’.

HOW TO NAIL ANY GIRL AT ANY PARTY

CHIRPSES, VIDEOS / By MF Jones

Want to learn how you can nail any girl you want at any party you go to? Follow these simple steps.

MAN HAS THUMB REPLACED WITH BIG TOE

CHIRPSES, VIDEOS / By MF Jones

James Bryne accidentally chopped off his thumb during a DIY accident, so his surgeon decided to replace it with his big toe.

RETURN TO ZORK. RETURN TO CURIOSITY AND TOTAL DESPAIR!

CHIRPSES, VIDEOS / By CzechTiger

I examine the very ambitious but overblown graphic sequel to the legendary series of text parser based games. Although very dated it is worth checking out.

FAVORITE NEW TUMBLR: TEXTS FROM BENNETT

CHIRPSES / By Jerkstore

Texts from Bennett Tumblr: These are text messages I exchange with my 17 year old cousin Bennett.

Rosie Brovent, from a trailer park in Ohio, is seeking the equivalent of £6000 damages from her (now ex) boyfriend after he tattooed a massive turd on her back. Rosie requested a scene from the mystical story of Narnia but signed her rights away on a document stating that she would allow the tattoo to …

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MILEY CYRUS ADMITS SHE’S A STONER

CHIRPSES / By MF Jones

Miley Cyrus admits she smokes too much weed in this video.

WIN YOUR NEXT FIGHT

CHIRPSES / By Kid Omega

UFC legend Bas Rutten shares practical (if somewhat mental) advice on self defence in street fights.

I WAS REALLY DRUNK WHEN I WROTE THIS

CHIRPSES / By Gary Danger Morton

I wrote this when I was really drunk. I don’t remember ever writing it, but I woke up in the morning and there it was, glaring at me. It seems alcohol releases the frantic darkness festering in the damp recesses of my brain.

INUDGE: SPEND THE NEXT 5 MINUTES OF YOUR DAY MAKING SOME MUSIC

CHIRPSES / By MF Jones

iNudge means your nan can make some music without the faintest knowledge of sequencers, VSTs or even basic musical knowledge.

HOW TO WIN AN ARGUMENT

CHIRPSES / By MF Jones

Follow these 38 steps to winning an argument against your girlfriend/boyfriend/brother/sister/teacher/landlord or parole officer.

PAKISTAN BANS ‘DONG’ AND 1,700 OTHER WORDS FROM TEXT MESSAGES

CHIRPSES / By MF Jones

Pakistan have banned words like ‘Ass Bagger’, ‘Ass Monkey’, ‘Cock Cowboy’, ‘Dong’, ‘Athlete’s Foot’, ‘Jesus Christ’, ‘Fairy’ and ‘Glazed Donut’ (?!?!) from being sent in text messages.

INSIDE AIR FORCE ONE

CHIRPSES / By MF Jones

Experiencing a flight inside Air Force One is something that only a hand full of people can say they’ve done, so here’s your next best option, a bunch of photos taken from inside the President’s jet.

MALCOLM BRENNER REVEALS SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH DOLPHIN

CHIRPSES, NSFW / By timw_brap

Malcolm Brenner got fucked up on acid and LSD in the 70’s and ended up fvcking a dolphin for 9 months. A tale of forbidden love – ‘It’s like Romeo and Juliet except Juliet is a 400 pound dolphin.’